Ok, let’s try starting on my list of things I’d like to do.
With it being the Jubilee, I guess I could give ‘getting excited about things’ a go. How does one get excited about a Jubilee? Draw a fake heart tattoo on my arm, of the type grown men get with the word ‘Mum’ in it. But I could write ‘The Queen’ in it instead? Ok, and I could wear something red, white and blue. That might be a bit of a stretch. I don’t know if I have enough clothes washed to get to those three colours in one outfit. I have a red jumper though. Ok, I’ll wear that today. And a blue coat. O and I mustn’t forget to wear all my favourite diamond jewellery today… O… Wait… I don’t have any. Damn. I don’t even have any good plastic children’s jewellery, the type you get in Christmas crackers, you know. The Queen quite often wears yellow dresses doesn’t she? I’ve got a yellow dress. I’ll wear that. With my red jumper.
Erm, I could take a ride on the Jubilee line on the underground. Actually I’m going to visit friends later so I do need to go across London, but not on the Jubilee line. Maybe I could detour to take in the Jubilee line?
Oo! I could get that lovely crown I keep stored away in the loft and wear it all day? Or my robe? And I could use a lovely RP accent (received pronunciation, for all you commoners who don’t know what that means), and I could take an interest in India and Australia. And the Falklands, one must remember the Falklands, mustn’t one? And one could curl one’s hair and dye it grey and wave in a regal manner to all the little people. And give speeches about England….
Perhaps I’ll save that for another day.
If there were a street party on my road (I’m too lazy to go any further) and I wasn’t working today, then I could do that. There isn’t a street party though. And I am working.
Ok, I’m ready, in my not very spectacular way, to be excited about something! This is revolutionary in my world. I have my yellow dress, my red jumper, my blue coat and I am going to take a ride on the Jubilee line. Wish me luck! (I’d better leave my crown and robe at home though, cause I might get them a bit dirty at work.)