There are many things about me that are slightly embarrassing. I have embraced those things. Things such as my inexplicable love of lists and my joy at a new filing project. Things like how I used to spend hours compiling colour coded diagrams of who was going to get what Christmas card in my class at school. Things like how I have to put on or try out things as soon as I have bought them and am leaving the shop. Things like how I secretly love dieting because I like control and restrictions (it’s mental, I know, dieting is supposed to be awful). Things like how I know all the words to The Lion King film. And to The Sound of Music. Things like how I almost tried out for the school talent show by playing Jingle Bells on my violin (badly). Things like how I supported Manchester United because I fancied Ryan Giggs. Things like how I had a thing for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Things like how Gremlins scared me so much I had nightmares about them. Things like how I once burped unexpectedly in the middle of an exam.
But there is one thing about myself that I cannot reconcile with the person I imagine I am. With the things I usually like and do. With the music and films and books I usually like. With the people I associate myself with or imagine I would like if I ever met.
This one thing is currently beyond comprehension to me as it came like a bolt of lightning from nowhere. I was as shocked as you will be.
And that is because I have the most awful thing to admit.
I like Taylor Swift’s latest song!
Shit. O god o god o god. I’m so sorry, don’t leave! I know she’s an idiot. I know it! And I know she goes out with anyone and everyone then writes entire albums about it. I know her first song about Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone was awful. It was offensive to my ears and I couldn’t stand it or her. I know her music is cheesy and unbearable. I know all these things.
But that doesn’t stop the fact that when I heard Trouble on the TV, I liked it. Ok? I just liked it. Please don’t judge me.
Are we still friends?