What are you singing about?!

Now I don’t mean to be disrespectful toward whoever sang this song but something has been puzzling me for years. It is the lyrics “Silence is golden, but my eyes still see.” I feel it is finally time to give it some proper examination.
“Hello, songwriters,” I say, in my imagination, “What is this nonsense about still seeing?”
“Hi Laura.” (They love it when I pop over for a chat.) “Well, you know, it’s from that saying, speech is silver, silence is golden.”
“Ok, so it means sometimes silence is better. I’m on board with that. That’s alright. And then the bit about your eyes still seeing?”
“Well, yeh, obviously it’s because even if people aren’t saying something, it can still be seen.”
“Right, so are we presuming that where there is no silence, people are blind? How are the two linked? It seems like you’re saying, ‘when I don’t speak I see, but when I’m speaking my vision is impaired.’ That’s not how senses work, you know,” I tell them, “It’s not one or the other. You usually have access to all of them at once.”
“Alright, Laura, no need to pick holes in everything,” they say, grumpily herding me towards the door.
“Just saying,” I tell them, huffily, like a teenager, before slamming the door behind me.

A more recent song now. Cheryl Cole. Good old Cheryl. Fight For This Love. I won’t mention the part where she says ‘love ain’t no walk in the paaAAaark,’ as it’s too silly for words. No. I want to skip to later when she says, “We just need to slow down, And just rooOOOOoooolll.”
She needs to what? Roll? She needs to roll? I fail to see how a relationship in crisis could benefit from ‘rolling’. In my mind, there are two people, having an argument, they’re getting really frustrated as the other person won’t listen, they don’t know whether they should be together anymore, and then one of them says, “Wait, darling! Let’s stop all this arguing. Don’t you remember what Cheryl told us to do in moments like this?” “Yes, I do,” says the man, we’ll call him Bob. “Quick, Sue, help me move the furniture!” Puffing and panting, they push all the furniture to the outer edges of the room and clear a large space on the floor. They look at each other, eyes gleaming, they have figured out a solution, they love each other, it will all be ok. They get down on the floor, lying in a straight line, holding hands and they roll the full length of the room. And back again. There is a quiet moment, where they look into each other’s eyes and realise that love is all you need. “Thanks Chezza,” they whisper under their breaths. “You’ve saved us.”

And now, for some lyrical comedy gold from a group of schoolgirls. Either playground ditties have got a bit mental since I was a kid, or they’ve always been mental and I didn’t realise it cause I was a kid myself, but yesterday, to the tune of We Will Rock You, I heard some girls singing “I’m a! Li-ttle! TEAPOT!!” and clapping their hands in time. Then something like, Coca Cola went to town, Pepsi shot him down, Dr Pepper fixed him up, now we’re all drinking 7up. And back to I’m a! Li-ttle! TEAPOT! I didn’t stop laughing for about half an hour. Another adapted tune was ‘O Tom the Toad, O Tom the Toad! Why are you lying in the road?’ to the tune of O Christmas Tree! (As the song progresses, it turns out that Tom is lying in the road because he got hit by a car and is dead.)


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