My worst food disasters

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I had a recent one and it’s been haunting me and making me think of other kitchen disasters I have had.

I’ve tried making chocolate mousse a few times and can’t quite get it sorted. I don’t know whether I’m not whipping the egg whites enough or something but it seems fine when I make it. It’s the right texture and all that. Then I refrigerate it for a while and when I take it out, it’s just solid. It’s not light and fluffy, it’s heavy and un-airy. And it depresses me. It make ME feel heavy and un-airy. I don’t try to make chocolate mousse anymore.

I made some flapjacks a while ago. They were going to be a present for someone so I made sure I did a good job. When I took them out of the oven, they looked lovely. I left them to cool and went in the front room… Came back ten minutes later… They were black! I’d left them to cool on top of the oven, with the hob on! I NEVER leave the hob on. I’m really strict about turning things off with the oven and hobs. Lovely apricot flapjacks, cooked and finished and ready to eat… and ruined.

When I lived abroad, as opposed to one specific disaster, we just had an ongoing disaster concerning our diet, which was mainly that we were 18 and didn’t really know much about cooking. We mainly ate plates of rice with something added, eg rice with sweetcorn mixed in, rice with chopped onion mixed in, rice with butternut squash, rice with rice. We also made these dumpling-type things which were just flour and water with something added, eg, dumplings with sweetcorn, dumplings with onions…..

My latest one was a marmalade cake. The recipe said to use self raising flour AND baking powder. I thought it seemed wrong but I trusted it anyway. So I made the mixture, put it in the oven and checked on it twenty minutes later. Disaster! The mixture was bubbling like crazy and expanding at an alarming rate. It had overflowed out of the loaf tin and formed a little cake mountain on the bottom of the oven. I didn’t know what to do about it, I turned down the heat and watched it closely. When it eventually stopped exploding, it then sunk into the empty space that had been created from all the bubbles in the middle of the loaf. It looked awful! I felt like a failure. The next morning I woke up and tried it again, plain flour this time. It worked!

I had used the Great British Bake Off cookbook for it and later found out the recipe was one that a guy used then got eliminated! His had sunk too! And then they just put the recipe in the book without changing it! Madness. For anyone else wanting to make a sticky marmalade tea loaf from that cookbook, use plain flour!

P.S. 21 days till first exam. Today’s study topic – Theft. And I can’t find any of my Land Law notes! Oops!

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6 responses to this post.

  1. Oh the hilarity!!

    Reply

  2. It didn’t feel hilarious David. It felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me. You don’t know what it’s like for people like me, who’s food is a reflection of them as a person. If the cake fails, I fail. If someone doesn’t like my food, they don’t like me. You don’t know.

    Reply

  3. I love to cook but am not good with cakes except your most basic kind, but I can make chocolate mousse, just make sure the eggs whites aere really stiff and fold into the chocolate also fold in the whipped cream then it won’t be hard when out of the fridge.

    Reply

    • Thanks for the advice. maybe I’ll brave chocolate mousse again soon and follow your advice. (I spent today making gingerbread and farming it out to friends who live close, who gave good feedback. I feel like I have been approved of as a person now!)

      Reply

  4. Posted by RFW on May 7, 2012 at 22:20

    If you are heading for exams, chocolate is the best study companion 🙂

    Reply

  5. Chocolate mousse is tricky – sometimes mine turns out great and other times it doesn’t.

    Reply

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