Things I believed as a child

A girl who lived on my road told me that sometimes flies can burrow through your scalp and get into your brain.

She also told me that if you swallow chewing gum it can go into your insides and wrap around your heart.

When a plane flies overhead, if you wave to it and it flashes its red light, it means the pilot has seen you and is letting you know.

 

Be careful!

If the wind blows while you’re doing a stupid face, it will stick that way.

My parents once convinced me that my birthday was on April 25th (it’s not). I remember being extremely doubtful at first then thinking it must be true because they were so convincing.

You never digest sweetcorn! It stays in your tummy FOREVER!

A teacher at school when I was about eight told us that there are lots of little men living inside your body, making sure it works properly and when you feel ill, the baddies were winning. If you take a little nap, it means the goodies can concentrate on fighting the baddies and making you feel well again. I think she meant it symbolically but I was fascinated for many years afterward about this whole little-men-living-inside-me thing.

This one is from infant school. A rumour flew around that when you moved up to junior school, if you wore glasses, the big kids would call you ‘four-eyes.’ We were quite intimidated by this rumour. I’ve no idea why it made such an impact on me as I’ve never worn glasses.

If you step on the lines while walking down the corridor at school, you fancy Marvin! (If you were a boy, I think you were told you fancied Hayley.)

When you’re a grown up, you wear make-up. That’s just what all grown-up women do. When the girl who lived on my road, and who told me about flies and chewing gum, said she wasn’t going to wear make up when she grew up, I was shocked.

My dad once told me that if you eat the instant custard powder straight from the jar, you have to be careful because it would get to your stomach and form a big lump of custard that would get stuck there.

If you sit too close to the TV, your eyes will go square. I was pretty terrified of this one because sometimes my dad would say, ‘O they’re already changing a little bit! Be careful! You’d better sit back!’

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rambler5319 on May 25, 2012 at 12:10

    The chewing gum one, although wrong, has a grain of truth behind it: if you swallow it, it doesn’t digest. It won’t breakdown like other food. It passes through the system as it is. The stomach will push it into the small intestine and from there into the colon and, within a day or two, it will come out when you have your next “number 2”. (By the way there have been cases of people who have swallowed a lot of gum in a short period and it stuck together forming a big blob which then becomes an emergency because it can’t get out.)
    The sweet corn one is the same: body can’t digest the shell and so you will see the yellow objects in your stools. Check your stools out if you don’t believe me next time you eat sweetcorn.
    The body will push out other non-digestibles the same way. Kids who swallow coins or other things will find them in the toilet at some stage. I did once swallow a sixpence from a Christmas pudding when I was younger and although eagerly awaiting the silver sheen in the brown I never did spot it. Then after two days my parents told me they were only joking and that they hadn’t put one in that particular time. Thanks folks!

    Reply

  2. This is hilarious! Oh, to be a child! It’s both awesome ad frightening.

    Reply

    • Tell me about it! Scary monsters I thought were real, thunder that I thought was war planes (not sure why) and strange illnesses you could get from being naughty. But also, money that the tooth fairy left you, careers as pop stars that you had no doubt about and friends that you LOVED unconditionally!

      Reply

  3. I told I would get square eyes if I watched to much telly.

    The best one was to get you to eat all your dinner was to think about the starving children in Africa to which i replied ive it to them..had a weird sensation after of all the air being sucked out of the room as I got the full force of the mum look…lol

    Reply

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