The most annoying woman ever?

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Ok, I’ve got an exercise DVD in my cupboard somewhere which is gathering dust because I refuse to watch it. I’ll tell you why.

Where to start? Firstly, its Kettlebell workout which, when you start to watch it, turns out there’s not a kettlebell in sight. She uses a dumb-bell, which isn’t used the same way at all. She keeps telling me to hold it by the base or the handle and it’s always wrong. So already I’m swallowing down extreme annoyance just to have it on.

The main reason though, is because this woman never stops talking! And I mean, never. It’s constant. Just a flow of nonsense words. Here is a sample minute from the workout:

“Ok, we’re going to do some renegade squats now! We’re renegades! Moving side to side. They’re not static squats. We don’t stay still. We’re renegades. They’re renegade squats! Like we’re in the army! We’re on the move! Renegade squats! Ok, four more of these. They’re really good for your thighs. Renegade squats! Working our gluts! Hold that weight! Squat! Ok, put your weight down. Great. We’re just going to do some lunges. Over to your left. Put your back foot back (yes, she says that, what on earth is a ‘back foot’?). Reach, reach, reach, feel the stretch. Ok, get your weight again. I want you to hold it by the handle in your left hand. And curl, curl, curl. In kettlebell training this is called a clean. So clean! Clean! Clean! Great. That’s great. You’re doing great. Ok, and squats. Static squats this time. We’re not renegades. Amazing. You’re doing a fantastic job. And legs together and twist from side to side. We’re twisting from our hips here. Holding our weight. Working the waist. Yeh, working out that waist. Can you feel it? On the waist. We’ll have nice toned waists. Your body shapes the way you move it. If you move it in a long lean way, it’ll shape that way. Ok, let your biceps take over with this one. They’ll guide the movement. That’s the thing about kettlebell, your body moves in a co-ordinated way…..”

On… and on…. and on….

And that’s just one small section. Often I can tell what I need to do from watching her so she doesn’t need all this talking. It’s beyond irritating. I once stopped the video so I could sit down and write a bad review of it on Amazon. It’s ridiculous.

I thought about whether to get it out this morning and have a little workout and then I remembered. I remembered how my equilibrium is always unbalanced after watching it because it annoys me so much. Maybe I should try watching it muted and putting my own music on?? Ah! I may have hit upon something here.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Hilarious as usual! Just tweeted the link to 508 twitter followers!

    Reply

  2. I guess she thinks all that chatter keeps you distracted or motivated or both.

    Reply

  3. Posted by pamasaurus on June 11, 2012 at 11:15

    Ugggh. I feel that way about Jillian Michael’s. I did the 30 Day Shred, and had to mute it to get through it. I wanted to punch her until she shut up, hahaha. Muting and putting on my own music really did help, though, so definitely give it a try!

    Reply

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