I’m a bit worried to say this because I know how passionate people get about this issue. But I think it’s time to finally say it. I don’t want my readers labouring under any illusions about me.

So let me just say it.

I don’t like coffee.

In fact, I think it tastes quite horrible.

I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. I’ve worked with coffee for ages now. Sometimes I make a drink wrong by accident. So I think to myself, rather than waste the cappuccino, I’ll drink it. And I always regret it. It’s just not tasty. Sorry, coffee lovers. I just don’t get the coffee thing. It’s not tasty.

I used to go to a nice restaurant in central London sometimes, before an evening class I was taking and I would order a black coffee. I loved sitting in the window watching life go by and drinking my black coffee. Like a real grown up. I was not enjoying my black coffee at all. I’m useless with super hot drinks anyway, so it took me forever to take my first sip. Then I’d add sugar so I couldn’t taste the coffee so much. So the entire exercise was essentially pointless, the only real point being to make me feel a bit sophisticated and, really, who was I kidding.

If I’m in work and I have a coffee, I go a bit mental. I talk very fast and run around trying to do everything all at once. It’s not good

Recently, I decided to get into coffee drinking again. But my order ended up being so complicated that I could feel how annoying I was when I was asking for my drink. Because I don’t like coffee, I thought I’d try decaf. I also thought that if I’m going to drink coffees often, I should at least limit the damage and get it with skimmed milk which, incidentally, steams much better than semi or full fat, it goes really smooth and silky. So I’m decaf and skimmed, awkward central. Then I’ve noticed that when I get latte or cappuccino most places, the foam on the top is really dry and I don’t like that. I like it when it’s creamy and got really fine bubbles. So I get a flat white.

A decaf skinny flat white.


I stopped ordering it after a little while because I could hear how stupid it was.

So that has been my interaction with coffee. I make it. I do NOT drink it. I wish I was more grown up and loved it. But I don’t. I just don’t.

11 responses to this post.

  1. Tea is better! I very rarely drink coffee!


  2. Posted by rambler5319 on June 23, 2012 at 11:04

    I’m with you on this one. I’ve also never got into coffee drinking.

    However its influence in English society is amazing. Apparently the first coffeehouse was set up in 1652 in Oxford. (The first known tea room was opened by Thomas Twining in 1706, in the Strand, and is still there today.) In just 23 years (by 1675) there were over 3,000 coffeehouses in England. Their greatest influence was probably in the business world where, by the mid 18th cent., certain coffeehouses were being frequented by particular trades or businesses. The most famous I suppose is the well-known beginning of Lloyd’s in a coffeehouse run by Edward Lloyd. (Ship insurers and underwriters met there to do business.) Jonathan’s Coffeehouse, in 1698, gave birth to what later becameThe London Stock Exchange. Auction houses Sotheby’s & Christie’s also arose from coffeehouse beginnings.

    Later, in Victorian times, they were promoted by the temperance movement as alcohol-free places for the working classes; they were places of relaxation and social gathering providing an alternative to the public house (pub).

    Interestingly, Bob Dylan & Joan Baez started their singing careers in coffeehouses.

    So, although you don’t like the stuff, you are actually part of a great historical and cultural movement which has influenced English society for nearly 400 years! Perhaps if you find other bloggers are using your coffee place you could get together, form a group which later gives birth to “Coffblog” a new company. Then, after becoming hugely successful and becoming a super-rich company, in maybe 100 years time, folks will look back and say “Yeah, Coffblog was started from a place where LLM worked back in about 2012”!! My name?……..oh, it’s Ball – first name? ………. you know what’s coming……….Crystal!


  3. I was always a coffe drinker, taking tea rarely, but weaned myself off coffee around 8yrs ago and went for green or herbal teas which I find much better.

    Also the complete onlsaught of coffee shops just made me nervous as I just couldn’t order a “coffee” now I had to read a menu etc..latte’s and the like have never held an attraction for me.

    The poshest coffee we used to have was the “Cafe Au Lait” basically coffee made with hot milk.


  4. I love coffee but I know how it feels for the ones who hate it…hmmmm…


  5. […] little while ago, I wrote a post about coffee. About how I had tried, and failed, over the years, to like coffee. I’d worked with it for […]


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