Things to remember when swimming

I have had a long think. A think about my anger. I have decided that, rather than work out where it came from, it will conclude that I was having An Off Day and move on. The following are my new things to remember whilst swimming.

– I am here to have a nice time.

– Most other people don’t think about things in such detail.

– Just keep going up and down, don’t take any notice of other people.

– If people get in my way, just move around them and keep going. It’s not a big deal. Don’t flip out.

– If it seems like people are intent on ruining my swimming session by annoying me, just remember, it’s only because they’re jealous.

– If someone hits me by accident while swimming, don’t hit back! It’s just an accident. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

– Holding people’s head under the water to ‘teach them a lesson’ is NOT an appropriate reaction to a minor irritation.

– Sighing loudly and shaking my head to let people know I’m annoyed doesn’t actually work in a swimming pool. Most people’s faces and ears are under the water.

– All the other swimmers have not formed an allegiance with the intention of annoying me. It just seems like it.

– When I win the World Championship At Swimming and they give me a massive trophy, as big as my house, then all this will mean nothing anymore. I’ll go back to that swimming pool and show them all my trophy, then they’ll know. That’ll show them…. Focus on the long term.

– If all else fails, take a couple of small piranha along and smuggle them into the pool.

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15 responses to this post.

  1. a) Piranha won’t work, unless you cut the other swimmers.
    b) There’s a reason why ‘anger’ with a ‘D’ on the front spells ‘Danger’.
    c) If TEAM GB haven’t been on the phone by now then you’re probably not getting in the Olympic squad.
    d) People swimming in a swimming pool are jealous of you swimming?
    e) When holding people’s head under water to teach them a lesson, it’s always best to let them up while they’re still fighting. I found that out the hard way.

    Have a nice day.

    Reply

  2. Got an idea! Put on one of those black ‘go faster’ head-to-toe swimsuits and then tie one of those fake shark fins to your back. If you have one of those waterproof cassette players you could play the Jaws theme music nice and loud. Watch those other swimmers scatter – maybe a few screams as well. Job done.

    Reply

  3. I tend to overreact to small things too… and I’ve been trying to get better! I was at the gym once on a bike, reading a book, AND listening to music (through headphones) and I had someone try to ask me if I was watching the TV that was above me. first I thought, “really? you’re REALLY talking to me right now?” but, afterall, he was just trying to be polite.

    Reply

    • I’m such a Nazi when I’m exercising. Just leave me to do my thing. I’m trying to get it right! No talking! Concentrate on your own exercise! So I totally agree about not wanting to chat to the man.

      Reply

      • Absolutely. I also loathe the people that take the large fans and point them directly at themselves in front of the machine that they’re on when there are 20 other people in the room. I give them dagger eyes until I feel I have sufficiently mind-burned them.

    • Did you see my post the day before this one? One woman swam in my bit AND I FLIPPED! I got out because I was so angry. I tried moving to another bit in the pool but it was no good. I had to get out and calm down! That’s silly isn’t it? I should have tried dagger eyes.

      Reply

  4. I go swimming early in the morning (i.e., around 5:30) when there is no one else in the pool. Just lonely old’ me.

    Reply

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