Being friendlier

The day I finished my exams, I told myself (and all of you) that I was going to give ‘being friendlier’ a go. I did ‘getting excited about stuff’ and that was good fun. I did ‘being sporty’ and I still swim most days (people have started to comment on my arms in a complimentary way but I’m still worried they’re getting Madonna-ish).

So now it’s time to try being more friendly. Now I’m not unfriendly. I’m perfectly nice to people I like. But I don’t often go out of my way to be nice. You know when people have those stories about how they met their new best friend in the launderette? Or on the train or something?

That is never me. I am never saying those things. Firstly because I don’t ever go to a laundrette. I don’t think I’ve ever been in one in my entire life. I also try to avoid public transport by living my life within a distance that doesn’t require me to go on public transport. If I am on public transport, I put my earphones in and listen to a book. I don’t look around for people to chat to.

I usually think I’m kind of ok without new friends. My phone book has as many names in it as I need and, to be honest, I’m quite busy a lot of the time.

When I started law school, my excited classmates gathered in the hallway after tutorials, chatting enthusiastically and working out which pub was closest to get to.

“Yeh, that sounds great. Let’s go there. Come on guys! Is everyone coming? Yeh? Yeh, come on. Laura, are you coming?”

And me… Little old me… Little old antisocial me…. What did I say? Did I say “Sure, I’m there! I don’t have any plans. I’m definitely coming”?

Of course I didn’t. I said something along the lines of “I’m sure you’re all really nice but I’m here to get a degree not some new friends, so actually, I’m going to go home and get started on the stuff they told us to read for next week.” Paraphrased slightly, but essentially that.

I’ve always thought it’d sometimes be great fun to be the person who’s all carefree and lovely and nice to everyone. But most of the time, I don’t feel like being nice to people, especially when they’re swimming at me in the swimming pool or standing in my way in the shop.

But I am going to try. I am going to try to be friendlier, to not be annoyed by people who don’t stick to the unspoken rules of social etiquette, or who swim in my way, or who push in front of me in a queue, or pronounce something wrong, or appear to be unfriendly to me. I will be relaxed and smiley and friendly, regardless. I’m not sure how well this will go, or how long I will last before someone annoys me. I am going to try though. I am up at the crack of dawn today so by about mid afternoon, grumpiness will set in. That’s when it will be hardest to keep up the friendliness. Wish me luck. I’ll report back.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. I’ll talk to anyone at least once..LOL I’m friendly with those I want to be, but I do like to spend time doin my own thing and don’t feel I have to follow the crowd.

    I often go out to bars and restaurants alone, but will usually take a book and also I do seem to collect oddballs..which is all ood but can be hard to extracate myself from.

    Reply

    • O no for oddballs! I remember reading one of your posts about an oddball you attracted. I’d like to think I’m quite smiley and I manage without too much trouble in work. But in general, I also prefer a cup of tea and a book and my own company. Let’s see how the friendly experiment goes.

      Reply

  2. I’m not being facetious when I say you should read Ho To Win Friends and Influence People. It really is an amazing book and full of tips on how to make friends. I’m not the most approachable person but I can get anyone to talk a mile by following the advice in the book. It’s quite simple – get people to talk about the one thing they truly love – themselves.

    Reply

  3. […] to admit. I was unfriendly yesterday. I didn’t mean to be, because I’m attempting be more friendly […]

    Reply

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