Danda and the muffins

I used to make a lot of muffins. I still make muffins but not so many. My most successful muffin flavour was vanilla, goji berry and poppy seed. I had just discovered this flavour and was trial running it then offering/forcing it on friends to see what people thought of it.

One batch, slaved over with great love and dedication, I presented to Danda for tasting by his expert taste buds.

“Danda,” I declared, gently passing the small foil parcel containing three muffins. “These muffins have been made with love and homemade vanilla extract. I have been in the kitchen for hours producing this beautiful batch of muffins, especially for you. They are very good for you as they contain goji berries, a superfood, that I travelled to the foothills of the Himalayas to pluck at the breaking of dawn. To put them in these muffins, just for you. The poppy seeds I collected from poppies that I planted last year and grew, just so I could make these muffins for you. Do you like them, Danda? Do you?”

“O, thanks,” Danda said, very impressed by my dedication. “I’ll have one for breakfast. I’m really looking forward to it.”

I was pleased by his enthusiasm, much better than was showed in The Blackberry Incident.

The next day, around mid-morning, I called Danda on the phone.

“Danda, what of the beauty of the muffins? Did it inspire you to poetry? Or to works of great philosophy, perhaps?”

“O… Erm…. I didn’t have one. I couldn’t find them this morning.”

“Danda. Did you lose my muffins?”

“I’m not sure. They must be somewhere.”

“Danda, this is an emergency. We must go and find them immediately.”

We scoured the kitchen, the cupboards, everywhere. I even checked the bin, just in case. The bin was empty. Totally empty.

Hmm. Why would this be? Ah. It was Bin Day. The bins had been put out. And they had already been collected.

“Danda…. Did you do that thing where you remember it’s Bin Day and throw everything in the bin in a kind of Bin-Day-Panic?”


12 responses to this post.

  1. No this can’t happen!!!!!! Shit!


  2. Noooo! PS – You could post that recipe–it sounds good!


    • Posted by lazylauramaisey on October 11, 2012 at 09:50

      I think you’d quite like it actually. It’s mainly eggs, fat free yoghurt and oat bran. Thankfully they only take about five minutes to put together so I made more without too much effort.


  3. Gosh! Accidents can happen… I suppose! I like the idea of the poppy seeds. My Polish friend uses them all the time. I want to try too!!


  4. I would never bin the muffins! Thank you for reminding me, I need to make banana bread tonight. Any suggestions for that?


    • Posted by lazylauramaisey on October 11, 2012 at 21:44

      Start out with double cream and whip it until starting to clump together. Add 225g soft brown sugar, 2 eggs, vanilla extract, 4 mashed bananas, 285g flour, 1 tbsp bicarb, a little bit of chocolate powder. Mix mix mix. Bake on low heat for hour an a half ish. PS, using 00 flour will give you the softest ever banana bread. Ever. PPS, using whipped double cream instead of butter and buttermilk gives it a fabulous texture.


      • Posted by Maggie O'C on October 11, 2012 at 21:48

        oh lord, that’s all British! I will need to convert measurements. What is double cream? Whipping cream?

      • Posted by lazylauramaisey on October 11, 2012 at 21:54

        Yeh, I think so. So long as it whips well. Keep whipping until it starts to go dark cream and lumpy. It’s on it’s way to becoming butter but don’t complete the process. Just start with that for your banana bread. It’s amazing.

  5. Posted by pamasaurus on October 11, 2012 at 22:03

    Oh no! Poor, poor muffins!


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