Things I will never do

Say ‘cap’ instead of cappuccino.

Eat celeriac.

Learn how to apply eye liner.

Read a book by Dan Brown.

Wear matching pyjama top and bottoms.

Understand machinery.

Eat ox tongue.

Say ‘barth’ and ‘parth’ and ‘grarss’ instead of bath and path and grass.

Wish there were more adverts on TV.

See a child and wish I had one.

Eat jellied eels.

Look back on my law degree with fond memories.

Become a cowboy film fan.

Mistake truffle butter for some kind of cream cheese and spread it on toast (as a friend did recently, which deeply offended me).

Think about Marmite with any level of excitement.

Watch the shopping channel on TV. Not even when they’re doing the kitchen appliances show.

Drink tomato juice.

12 responses to this post.

  1. What exactly IS celeriac?


    • Posted by lazylauramaisey on October 16, 2012 at 11:48

      Exactly. What is it? What is its point in life? Why does it exist? (It’s a kind of whitish knobbly looking thing that is of the winter veg family. It’s nonsense.)


  2. Ah, Marmite! I tried it during a class when I studied abroad–yuck!


  3. Have you seen Tombstone? 3:10 to Yuma (the new one) or Lonesome Dove? You might like them. Lonesome Dove is a beautiful book so at least do yourself that favor. I remember when the DaVinci Code came out. My dad was reading it and I wanted to read the book after him. I asked if it was good and dad said, “Yeah it’s good, he’s full of shit but it’s a good book.” 🙂 Jellied eel and ox tongue??? What in the hell is going on over there???


    • Posted by lazylauramaisey on October 16, 2012 at 18:42

      Yeh, I know. What on earth? It’s not the bloody war anymore! This nonsense doesn’t need to exist. I have seen 3:10 to Yuma actually. I don’t remember it very well though. Is it good?


  4. Funny post! I hate tomato juice too! And don’t like celeriac either but… Marmite yes! I must say about children you might change your mind later on.. 🙂


  5. I will never put in mascara properly! Or eat melon.


  6. I will also skip the tomato juice.


  7. Posted by Alex Jones on October 18, 2012 at 07:15

    I am one of the tribe that love Marmite.


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