What happened when I tried to fix the coffee machine

Yesterday, in work, a customer mentioned that the coffee tasted a bit different recently and that they had preferred it how it used to taste. I had a little think on the problem and thought it might be to do with the grind of the coffee. So I reset the grinder, made an espresso and tasted it, reset it again, made an espresso, tasted it. It went on like so until it reached a point I was happy with. To understand what happened to me during this time, let’s get inside my head, which sounded something like this.

“This coffee does taste different. Ok. I’ll change the grind just a little bit. O, there’s a coffee order. I hope they like it. Right, it’s a latte. Done. Let me run myself a coffee. Ummmm. I think it still needs tweaking. O, a customer. Hi! HI! HELLO! What can I get for you? God, I’m really shouting. Reign it in a bit, Laura. They’ve ordered a coffee. I’ll change the grind a little bit again and make myself one at the same time. Sip, sip, it’s still not great. Ok, more customers, loads of them. The coffee’s kicking in. HI! CAN I HELP ANYONE? A SANDWICH? YEP, WHICH ONE? OK. AND WHICH BREAD? ALRIGHT, TAKE A SEAT AND I’LL BRING IT TO YOU! Try to bring it down a few decibels, Laura. Take the order to the kitchen. I’VE GOT A SANDWICH ORDER FOR IN! HE’S ON TABLE 2! Woah, no need to shout. But I can’t help it. I’m still worried about the coffee. Let me try to finish fixing it. Everything’s happening quite quickly now. Another espresso, run it and drink it. O, a customer. HIHOWCANIHELPYOUYESOFCOURSEYOUCANHAVEACAPPUCCINOREGULARORLARGEANYSUGARS? Why are people looking at me funny? God, I’m so efficient right now. I am super coffee machine fixer. Has there ever been anyone as speedy and amazing as me? HERE’SYOURCOFFEELARGECAPPUCCINOWITHONESUGARTHANKSHAVEAGREATDAY! Gosh, my eyes feel really wide and staring. Another customer. HIWHATCANIGETFORYOU?ABREAKFASTYESWHATBREADWOULDYOULIKEFORYOURTOAST?ANDACOFFEEYESANAMERICANOOKI’LLBRINGITOVERTOYOU! Wow, time’s moving fast. O goodness, and now it’s sloooowingggg riiiiight down. My limbs are all really sluggish. I was supposed to leave work at 4pm and I’m still dawdling around in the kitchen at 4.15pm doing not much. Knackered.
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Damn that coffee machine…..”

12 responses to this post.

  1. lolo sounds like some strong coffee

    Reply

  2. Hahahahaha!!! I’ve done that at work…

    Reply

  3. Posted by Alex Jones on November 4, 2012 at 19:26

    Has happened a few times to me too, but usually with high caffeine drinks.

    Reply

  4. Posted by pamasaurus on November 4, 2012 at 22:08

    Oh my, I know that feeling! I worked in a coffee shop before, and it catches up with you before you realize what you’re doing!

    Reply

  5. When I worked at Seattle’s Best coffee (not the best and not in Seattle) I did that once – on purpose. We took a shot of espresso with the different favor syrups. I think I quit after 10. I felt sick once I came down from the caffeine buzz. I think it’s a right of passage. 🙂 Glad you were able to fix the problem.

    Reply

  6. Lol- Years ago, when I worked in computers at a courthouse, we all went to lunch. The guy running the pizza place was not the greatest (pizza was). Anyway, I drank a 32 oz diet caff-free pepsi. Found out later (after the fact and spinning on my chair in the office) that he had mixed the lines. I hadn’t had caffeine in almost 7 years!
    I can so relate.
    Scott

    Reply

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