True story.
It happened about five years ago. I saw him every day when I was at work and thought he was utterly beautiful. When I was at work I had a name badge on.
For about a year, I smiled and tried to start conversations. For a year, he smiled politely but didn’t respond. Then one day I went to get some photos developed and he was standing there in the shop! Thankfully, the photos were of friends and I at a party so I looked presentable enough.
When I went to pick them up, he finally responded to my advances and chatted a little. The chatting developed over the next few months until he finally asked me to go for a drink. He’d been saying my name when talking to me for quite a while by this point. Obviously, having a name badge on made it easy for him. But by the time we were going for a drink, I realised I didn’t know his name and we had been flantering (flirty bantering) for too long for me to now ask him.
When he gave me his number he just wrote it on a peice of paper, without his name. Before our date, I tried going online to the website of the shop where he worked but there was nothing about staff names. And so I went for a drink with a man who’s name I did not know.
When the man gave me a gentle kiss goodnight at the bus stop, I still did not know his name. When I saved his phone number under ‘Man,’ I still did not know his name. When we text back and forth to arrange a second date (which we did not end up going on), I still did not know his name.
When he disappeared off the radar altogether for a year or so, then showed up back at my work needing someone to talk to and saying he’d been married and divorced in the past year and struggled with alcoholism, I still did not know his name.
When he cried a little so I took him somewhere quiet to sit and gave him a hug, I still did not know his name.
When he asked me what he needed to say to prove he was still interested (I, unfortunately, no longer was), I still did not know his name.
And now, while I’m remembering how odd that all was, I still do not know his name!
Posted by Carrie on November 30, 2012 at 10:29
There comes a point where you’re too far in, so to say, to ask for his name. I probably wouldn’t have either. So strange that he turned up after a one-year hiatus!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on November 30, 2012 at 10:53
Yeh, it was a bit mental for a while, then I left that job so I’ve no idea if he reappeared. And it definitely was too far along to ask his name. O well!
Posted by kindredspirit23 on November 30, 2012 at 20:46
My stroke does wonders here! I have no problem at all saying, “My memory is often foggy, what was your name again?”. It’s true; that helps, but just sayin…
Hmm, if I don’t tell you my name, can we go out? 🙂
Man
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 1, 2012 at 15:11
O, Scott, you always sign off with your name so I already know it! Damn……
Posted by kindredspirit23 on December 1, 2012 at 15:35
And, I was all ready to buy my ticket!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 4, 2012 at 20:58
Damn. So close.
Posted by Read Stuff With Me! on December 3, 2012 at 06:34
Haha I wonder what his name might be! Why don’t you somehow find him and ask him now!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 4, 2012 at 21:03
I might do that. Just call him up and admit that I never knew his name! Can you imagine someone you’d been on a date with five years ago calling you and asking your name?!
Posted by standrewslynx on December 3, 2012 at 11:12
I bet that he has a really boring or difficult-to-pronounce name that doesn’t seem to suit him at all. You’re probably better off not knowing. 🙂
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 4, 2012 at 21:09
Yeh. Something like Bob. If he was going to be a Bob, I’m glad I didn’t find it out. I much preferred thinking up beautiful exotic names for him. He grew up in Tunisian so I always thought it must be something interesting.
Posted by morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer on December 6, 2012 at 17:41
The next time this happens start a conversation starting with, “Who were you named after?” That’s sure to evoke the secret from him.
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 8, 2012 at 17:51
Another great tip. I never even thought to do that. Once I realised I was too far in, I then had a mental block about it and made sure not to say anything at all which might hint that I didn’t know his name. Which made finding out his name impossible!
Posted by Talia Marcheggiani on December 7, 2012 at 12:35
haha! I wonder if he knew that you never knew his name through all that!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 7, 2012 at 13:02
I never even thought of that! I hope he didn’t realise. How awkward 🙂
Posted by memyselfandkids on December 7, 2012 at 12:51
Funny little happening. It can be awkward to ask someone their name when they know yours.
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 7, 2012 at 13:04
Yeh. There’s no real way to ask it once it’s gone past a certain point.
Posted by memyselfandkids on December 7, 2012 at 15:47
I think there was a Seinfeld episode about this. If not, there should have been.
Posted by Lynn Daue on December 7, 2012 at 14:51
This is priceless! You should totally try to track him down now and ask him his name 🙂
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 8, 2012 at 17:55
Can you imagine what he’d think? He’d probably think I was having a mental moment, as I’m guessing he didn’t notice that I didn’t know his name that entire time.
Posted by Lynn Daue on December 11, 2012 at 12:05
I have to ask … did you just say, “Hey, you,” to him whenever you had to address him? Or did you graduate to endearments?
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 15, 2012 at 22:46
Yeh, it was quite weird now I think about it. I just got in the habit of going, “Hi!” or “Hey, you,” in a cutesy affectionate way (at least that’s what I thought it was). And that saw me through most of the time.
Posted by Patsy on December 7, 2012 at 17:09
Very amusing hahaha! Great story! 🙂
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 8, 2012 at 17:57
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it.
Posted by simoneadeleturner on December 7, 2012 at 20:55
Hilarious story. Made me laugh! 🙂
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 8, 2012 at 17:58
Fabulous. I’m glad you liked it.
Posted by Jessica on December 8, 2012 at 16:04
There comes a point where it’s simply too late to ask for a person’s name. At least you found a way to make a very funny story about it!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 8, 2012 at 18:00
Indeed. So it was all worth it! Whenever I used to talk to my friends about him, I just used to call him Mr. Man. It was so silly, now I think about it…
Posted by camparigirl on December 8, 2012 at 23:12
this is hilarious! To tie it all up, you should find him again and ask his name! A bit of a blow to his self-esteem but one of life’s unknowns resolved!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 15, 2012 at 22:37
It has become one of the great mysteries of my life. It will probably be on my gravestone…. “Laura Maisey, Dated a man who’s name she didn’t know. Rest In Peace.”
Posted by Truth and Cake on December 12, 2012 at 20:31
Ha! This part made me lough out loud: “When I saved his phone number under ‘Man,’ I still did not know his name.” I am so bad–I have to repeat a name over and over again to remember it. I really think names should only be exchanged AFTER you have a conversation with a person. Or, you know, go on a date 😉
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 15, 2012 at 22:51
Yeh. It should be that you exchange names a bit later, if you like each other enough. So there’s not the awkward realisation that now it’s too late to ask. Just do it then anyway. I’m going to start suggesting it to people. I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Posted by The Pressables | Truth and Cake on December 13, 2012 at 17:18
[…] are people in this world who will drive 1,500 miles for ice cream. I salute those people. You can date, kiss and, one year later, comfort a crying man whose name you (still) do not know. We should all catch the next plane to Zurich. Grown ups think other grown ups wet the […]
Posted by sofagirl on December 27, 2012 at 05:01
Similar thing happened to me – except in my case I did know his name – he just forgot to mention to me that he was married. I found out and broke it off – and five years later he flew continents to come tell me he was divorced now and ready for me. I also said no thanks.
Posted by lazylauramaisey on December 29, 2012 at 13:32
Haha! He must have thought you’d be totally fine with it. Like, I’m done with that relationship, now time for sloppy seconds, see if that works. Urgh.
Posted by CuriousEmily on February 26, 2014 at 00:24
It’s 1:30am and I’m giggling like an idiot. My flatmate has just banged on our adjoining wall. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Nice post, well written. 🙂
Posted by lazylauramaisey on February 26, 2014 at 05:22
Why, thank you, Emily. I’m glad you liked it 🙂