I once dated a man who’s name I didn’t know

True story.

It happened about five years ago. I saw him every day when I was at work and thought he was utterly beautiful. When I was at work I had a name badge on.

For about a year, I smiled and tried to start conversations. For a year, he smiled politely but didn’t respond. Then one day I went to get some photos developed and he was standing there in the shop! Thankfully, the photos were of friends and I at a party so I looked presentable enough.

When I went to pick them up, he finally responded to my advances and chatted a little. The chatting developed over the next few months until he finally asked me to go for a drink. He’d been saying my name when talking to me for quite a while by this point. Obviously, having a name badge on made it easy for him. But by the time we were going for a drink, I realised I didn’t know his name and we had been flantering (flirty bantering) for too long for me to now ask him.

When he gave me his number he just wrote it on a peice of paper, without his name. Before our date, I tried going online to the website of the shop where he worked but there was nothing about staff names. And so I went for a drink with a man who’s name I did not know.

When the man gave me a gentle kiss goodnight at the bus stop, I still did not know his name. When I saved his phone number under ‘Man,’ I still did not know his name. When we text back and forth to arrange a second date (which we did not end up going on), I still did not know his name.

When he disappeared off the radar altogether for a year or so, then showed up back at my work needing someone to talk to and saying he’d been married and divorced in the past year and struggled with alcoholism, I still did not know his name.

When he cried a little so I took him somewhere quiet to sit and gave him a hug, I still did not know his name.

When he asked me what he needed to say to prove he was still interested (I, unfortunately, no longer was), I still did not know his name.

And now, while I’m remembering how odd that all was, I still do not know his name!


36 responses to this post.

  1. There comes a point where you’re too far in, so to say, to ask for his name. I probably wouldn’t have either. So strange that he turned up after a one-year hiatus!


  2. My stroke does wonders here! I have no problem at all saying, “My memory is often foggy, what was your name again?”. It’s true; that helps, but just sayin…
    Hmm, if I don’t tell you my name, can we go out? πŸ™‚


  3. Haha I wonder what his name might be! Why don’t you somehow find him and ask him now!


    • I might do that. Just call him up and admit that I never knew his name! Can you imagine someone you’d been on a date with five years ago calling you and asking your name?!


  4. I bet that he has a really boring or difficult-to-pronounce name that doesn’t seem to suit him at all. You’re probably better off not knowing. πŸ™‚


    • Yeh. Something like Bob. If he was going to be a Bob, I’m glad I didn’t find it out. I much preferred thinking up beautiful exotic names for him. He grew up in Tunisian so I always thought it must be something interesting.


  5. The next time this happens start a conversation starting with, “Who were you named after?” That’s sure to evoke the secret from him.


    • Another great tip. I never even thought to do that. Once I realised I was too far in, I then had a mental block about it and made sure not to say anything at all which might hint that I didn’t know his name. Which made finding out his name impossible!


  6. haha! I wonder if he knew that you never knew his name through all that!


  7. Funny little happening. It can be awkward to ask someone their name when they know yours.


  8. Posted by Lynn Daue on December 7, 2012 at 14:51

    This is priceless! You should totally try to track him down now and ask him his name πŸ™‚


    • Can you imagine what he’d think? He’d probably think I was having a mental moment, as I’m guessing he didn’t notice that I didn’t know his name that entire time.


      • Posted by Lynn Daue on December 11, 2012 at 12:05

        I have to ask … did you just say, “Hey, you,” to him whenever you had to address him? Or did you graduate to endearments?

      • Yeh, it was quite weird now I think about it. I just got in the habit of going, “Hi!” or “Hey, you,” in a cutesy affectionate way (at least that’s what I thought it was). And that saw me through most of the time.

  9. Very amusing hahaha! Great story! πŸ™‚


  10. Hilarious story. Made me laugh! πŸ™‚


  11. There comes a point where it’s simply too late to ask for a person’s name. At least you found a way to make a very funny story about it!


  12. this is hilarious! To tie it all up, you should find him again and ask his name! A bit of a blow to his self-esteem but one of life’s unknowns resolved!


    • It has become one of the great mysteries of my life. It will probably be on my gravestone…. “Laura Maisey, Dated a man who’s name she didn’t know. Rest In Peace.”


  13. Ha! This part made me lough out loud: “When I saved his phone number under β€˜Man,’ I still did not know his name.” I am so bad–I have to repeat a name over and over again to remember it. I really think names should only be exchanged AFTER you have a conversation with a person. Or, you know, go on a date πŸ˜‰


    • Yeh. It should be that you exchange names a bit later, if you like each other enough. So there’s not the awkward realisation that now it’s too late to ask. Just do it then anyway. I’m going to start suggesting it to people. I’m so glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚


  14. […] are people in this world who will drive 1,500 miles for ice cream. I salute those people.   You can date, kiss and, one year later, comfort a crying man whose name you (still) do not know.   We should all catch the next plane to Zurich.   Grown ups think other grown ups wet the […]


  15. Similar thing happened to me – except in my case I did know his name – he just forgot to mention to me that he was married. I found out and broke it off – and five years later he flew continents to come tell me he was divorced now and ready for me. I also said no thanks.


  16. It’s 1:30am and I’m giggling like an idiot. My flatmate has just banged on our adjoining wall. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Nice post, well written. πŸ™‚


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