Silly things that have happened to me in the kitchen

1. I was once, foolishly, trying to squeeze too many things into the cupboard and the precariously balanced cheese grater at the far end was being steadily pushed closer to the surface. Eventually, I put one too many mugs in the cupboard and the grater fell. On instinct, I just reached out my hand and caught it…. And grated my little finger on the side that you zest things on. It was torn apart and in tatters for weeks afterward.

2. I sometimes store things on the very top of the cupboards because I have run out of space inside the cupboards. I had put some flour up there and was trying to get it down. Being the LazyLauraMaisey that I am, I couldn’t be bothered to get the chair or a step ladder. Or anything in fact. I just kept jumping up trying to grab it. Eventually I had tugged it to the very edge of the cupboard by jumping and grabbing it a little each time. When I had run out of energy, I just looked up and thought I’d probably have to give in and get a chair to climb. It was at this moment, standing underneath it and looking up, that it eventually tipped and fell. On to my face. My nose and top lip to be exact. About a third of the bag of flour also broke free at this point so my head was left in a cloud of flour and my nose felt broken as the bag fell to the floor and tipped almost the rest of the flour out in a nice little pile at my feet.

3. Left the tea box on a hob which was still turned on and burned through most of the tea bags inside the box. As a ps, burnt tea bags smell Dis. Gus. Ting.

4. (This one wasn’t me.) A friend once dropped her phone in a pan of oil then panicked and ran it under the tap to wash the oil off…!

9 responses to this post.

  1. Number 2 (flour) is classic!!! I have smiled that hard in years!!! Thanks.
    by the way, once in McDonald’s, I ordered an ice cream cone. When the server handed it to me, the ice cream fell off the cone. With that same wonderful instinct as your grater incident, I caught the ice cream at about waist level. The server looked at me and said, “Now, what are you gonna do?”


  2. I do stuff like that all the time. I am so clumsy. I was helping a friend move the other day and she had a knife block all wrapped up in paper, and I thought there were no knives in it. she must have thought the same because we were both surprised when a bunch of very sharp knives came clattering down around our feet. fortunately we both had on closed-toed shoes so no one was butchered 🙂


  3. I’m so lazy I can’t summon the energy to jump at things so I have to get a chair and I like seeing what I got in there.
    also, I grate my fingers regularly so you are in fantastic company!


    • A grated finger makes a fantastic accompaniment to any main meal. Just something to keep in mind if entertaining friends and you suddenly realise you’ve forgotten to get any salad.


  4. Posted by Alex Jones on February 13, 2013 at 00:02

    Life punishes the lazy, been there, I remember the pain.


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