Trying to be useful

Ok, everyone. It’s time for me to admit something. I’ve been living selfishly. It is the first time I have done so since deciding a while ago, that I was going to live unselfishly. I did my undergraduate degree in Human Rights and officially have letters that I can put after my name to prove I have some knowledge in this area. I became very interested in the issue of capital punishment and went to law school with this in mind.

…And then the law degree was long… And difficult…. And dry…. And not so interesting…. Which took me by surprise. I also wasn’t very good at it. No matter how much I studied and prepared and did masses of extra reading, I’d go to tutorials and the tutors would ask a question. As the excitable student I am, I’d be there, hand in the air going “Me! Me! Pick me! I know!” Then I’d say something like, “Fisher v Bell.” And the tutor would go, “No.”

….Ah. Um. Ok.

My exams last May were tough. My brain almost caved in. I needed a break. I liked people and I wanted to do good things with my life. But I needed to retreat and recoup.

My operation midway through the degree also didn’t help. I know it’s illogical and I know there is no answer to it but I felt annoyed and wanted to know why. Why had it happened to me? I wasn’t annoyed actually, I was pissed off. Really pissed off. Retreating and recovering was a way for me to also process what had happened. There’s nothing like a brush with death to clarify the important things in life!

So since May I have been doing things I like, to kind of shake everything off and make myself a blank page again. To start from scratch and remember what it is want to do. So I have been blogging, baking, eating, writing, reading, walking, seeing friends. And it is lovely. I like my life and I like how I spend my time.

But now I’m ready to get involved again. I want to do useful things with my time again. I watched Cloud Atlas tonight and someone said there is no point joining a cause you believe in as it will just be a drop in the ocean. The reply was that yes, it is just a drop in the ocean but the ocean is made up of drops.

I’m going to do an experiment for a while. I’ve downloaded two books about small daily actions which can make a little difference. One is about trying to live a more environmentally friendly life. The other is about anything and everything. I’ll post the tips from both books and try to do whichever is most feasible, or both if I can.

Let’s see how being nice goes….

Wish me luck.

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15 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by pamasaurus on February 27, 2013 at 21:56

    Good luck! I look forward to reading your tips 😀

    Reply

  2. You won’t need luck; you are a nice person. If you haven’t been acting that way, you have now seen that and are changing it. We all do that, by the way.
    I look forward to your tips.
    Scott

    Reply

  3. Good luck. And don’t worry about being selfish, everyone needs selfish time now and again. xo

    Reply

  4. […] are you? What’s that? A bit messy and need some work doing? Ah. Ok. Yes. I did promise I’d help with that, didn’t I? And I did, World. I did. On Day 1, I donned my best dirty Crocs, grabbed a bag and […]

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  5. […] I resolved to get back to my promise to be more useful. Life took over a little at the weekend. But now I have my superhero outfit on again and I am […]

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  6. […] I was back on the useful thing with a vengeance, so much so that I did about four useful things in one day! I know, I know, […]

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  7. […] not fear, readers, I have not forgotten about my Trying To Be Useful project. It’s just that sometimes the things I am instructed to do are not enough to carry a […]

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  8. This post is silly because you describe yourself as selfish but brilliant because it’s a simple and Lovely idea that a lot of people might not think about doing. Also, knowing how busy your life is, you are removing that all-to-easy excuse that “I’m too busy.” When I see you next can we go and do some good, random, kind things together please?

    Reply

    • Definitely! Litter picking? Any chance in the entire world you’d be on US soil in July? We can pick up litter then. Although in uptown Houston there are no pavements so not sure how well that will go! Planning to start composting next and maybe get a worm farm. Love to you and Emma xx

      Reply

  9. […] have utilised two of my recent blogging themes today (Trying To Be Useful and AtoZ) to tell you about the latest exciting developments in my […]

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  10. […] been a while since I’ve done one of the challenges from my save-the-world-in-a-day type books. Don’t worry, it’s not because I don’t want to be a world-saver […]

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  11. […] on this one for a little while now, feeling like this was the next direction to go in with my Living Usefully project but not quite getting round to […]

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