My day at Ham House in numbers


Number of gooseberries destalked and bagged up for freezing – 200
Number of redcurrants washed and bagged for freezing – approx. 5 billion
Amount of time I spent washing redcurrants – 2.5 hours
Number of raspberries washed and put in a pot to make ice tea with – 100
Number of roast peppers successfully peeled – 4
Numbers of peppers ravaged in a mad rage as I failed to get the skins off – 8
Number of prawn and marie rose sandwiches made – 16
Number of glasses of water I drank – 6
Numbers of eggs shelled and mashed for making egg mayo – 31
Number of cuts on thumb from sharp bits of egg shell – 14
Number of croutons made from the ends of the loaves – 80
Number of rocket leaves from the kitchen garden washed and dried – 50
Number of times I sat down – 0
Number of times I was asked if I wanted a break but I refused because I wanted to finish the redcurrants – 500
Amount of time it took me to scoff a leftover slice of coffee and walnut cake in my face at the end of the day – 4 seconds
Temperature of body after the walk home – 100million degrees
Temperature of shower I had when I got in – below freezing
Amount of time it took me to fall asleep on the sofa while watching TV – 10 seconds

11 responses to this post.

  1. Love it! Brilliant !
    I ‘ve just read it aloud to my husband for another laugh all the way through. Hope your thumb has healed now. Hope you’re paid for this ! Hope they appreciate you – am green with envy about the red currants, we never get them here….and the gooseberries !


  2. Oh, I love gooseberries and no one in America seems to know what they are. They grew wild on the farm I grew up on and my grandma made the best gooseberry pies. But you probably don’t want to hear about the virtuous gooseberry after having destalked, bagged, and frozen 200 of them :]


    • I will say that the humble, usually too acidic, gooseberry surprised me last week. I ate one and it was really juicy and nice. They have redeemed themselves. I’ll have to figure out what to bake with them. Any other ideas as well as the gooseberry pie you mentioned?


      • They are pretty sassy little things without lots of sugar. The only way I’ve had them is in pie and jam. I always get myself a jar of gooseberry jam when I go home to see my family and it’s very yummy on toast with butter…mmmm

      • Ol, maybe I’m going to give gooseberry jam a go!

  3. I feel some of these “numbers” appear a tad over the top: 1) You seem to have washed 5 billion redcurrants in 2.5 hrs so that means 2 billion per hour! Hmmmm
    2) Next your body temperature appears to have exceeded the norm (37 deg C) by a whopping 99,999,963 deg C. 3) A shower with a temp below freezing is interesting – how does that work? Are you in a hailstorm or something? Ooh wait, I think i might have got it – are these figures what you call hyperboles?


  4. […] 3. You will find these cuts when making dinner later and squeezing some lemon over your rainbow trout. You will also find a whole network of other cuts that you hadn’t realised were there. Plus the egg shell cuts from a few days before. […]


  5. That is a good day!


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