Posts Tagged ‘advert’

Stuff and money

Well, it had to come up at some point, didn’t it? You can’t put an advert like that on TV and think that there wouldn’t be some discussion about its ridiculousness here. Anyone not living in the UK, thank your lucky stars that you have not been exposed to this advert.

There are plenty of awful awful things about this advert, it’s hard to know where to start. I guess we should start with Barbara Windsor, AKA Peggy Mitchell from Eastenders, or ‘Stenders, as it is *lovingly* known. I say *lovingly* with undisguised overtones of sarcasm. O god, she’s awful. If you don’t already know who she is, picture this.

She’s a bit too old for the bright blond piled-on-top hairdo that she sports. She’s small and, typically of small people, she’s very loud. And very rough-London. Her laugh is her most awful feature. It fires out, at five billion decibels, violating your ears with its machine gun fire-esque sound.

The advert in question is the latest in a series of adverts in which she wears brightly coloured court jester-type clothing and laughs a lot. “AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH!” Loud and insistent. Maybe she says some words too, I couldn’t tell you. I’m too busy recoiling from the TV in horror.

In this latest advert, maybe they’ve realised that no-one is listening to her words actually, because the whole advert consists of a song with two words.

The words are STUFF and MONEY.

And the song goes like this, are you ready for the inspirational genius-like work which must have gone into creating it?

Verse 1
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Money money money.
Stuff stuff!

Verse 2
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Stuff stuff money money stuff stuff.
Money money money.
Stuff stuff!

Inspirational words, hey? From the song, I have concluded that it must be a betting place telling you what you can win if you give them all your hard earned cash. While this song goes on and on, SillyBollocksMachineGunLaugh sits on a big throne thing, grinning maniacally and kind of arm-dancing along with an audience, who are all up on their feet, clapping and cheering. There are also an array of strange inexplicable things and people on the stage with SillyBollocks, as though there’s a gameshow happening.

Now I don’t really know anything about the advertising world. Maybe approval is only needed from the boy who fetches the tea in the office, which explains how this awful advert made it into my front room. But I was under the impression that there are more levels of approval needed before it could be broadcast.

Someone must have thought it up, pitched the idea to their boss, taken it to a brainstorm meeting where all the ideas were presented, that one idea must’ve been picked (the ingenious idea to make it consist of just the words ‘stuff’ and ‘money’ must have been too persuasive), they must have had to get it approved to film and made it and watched it back and gone, “Yeh, this is really good.”

I just can’t understand why no-one stopped them at any point in that process and said, “Guys, you can’t make this advert, it’s crap.”

Rubbish adverts

Omygoodness, where to start? There are so so many rubbish adverts on TV at the moment, I’m beginning to think there’s been some big meeting and an agreement to only show nonsense.

The first one that springs to mind is the one for Sure deodorant. It’s awful. There are lots of close ups of women’s faces looking all serious and tough. And the voiceover goes something like this, “Women are strong. Not strong with an asterix. Strong. And strong women sweat…” etc etc blah blah, Sure is the best etc.

There are million things wrong with this advert. I am prime example of what is wrong with this advert. I am a sweaty gal. All I have to do is walk a little way down the road and I’m starting to get warm. So I am a woman and I sweat. Am I strong? Not so much. I’m not noted for my strongness, I can tell you that. So what am I to do? I do sweat. But I am not strong. Am I allowed to use Sure. Or do I have to be ‘strong.’

Also, the strong thing is like nothing to do with anything else in the advert. They basically just go, “Look at these strong women. Now buy Sure.”

It’s just nonsense. It’s words that someone threw at a page and read them out in the random order that they landed. At the end it says something like, “Sure. Because we’re strong.” Ridiculous.

Next up is an advert for some phone company, O2 or something. There’s a cat sitting around then it decides to be like a dog for a day. It does all these dog things and runs around then at the end, it tells me to log onto be-a-dog.com or whatever the website address is. Now this annoys me. It’s like, “We’re not going to tell you what the advert is for. We’re just going to give a web address and you have to come and find out what the advert’s about for yourself.”

I’m sorry, no. No. This is not what adverts are for. First you do something to grab my attention, then you tell me what it’s for then you tell me why I should get it then I make up my mind. If you only do something to grab my attention and I’ve got to bloody faff around on the internet to find out what is being advertised then you’ve lost me. I’m sorry. I’m out. This thing you’re advertising could be great, could change my life. But you’ve lost me. Don’t make me do your job. If I ever did log on, it would be to find out what phone company not to use.

The same with gocompare.com. The most irritating adverts. Even worse when they started trying to get on side with the public and take the piss out of themselves. Awful. In such contrast to the relatively amusing comparethemarket.com adverts. I remember a friend asking me about something like insurance and I was like, “Don’t use gocompare! Don’t use them! On pain of death!”

There’s another one for some double glazing company. There are six burly guys outside a house and a bald guy comes out shouting indecipherable words. He walks up to the camera still shouting then a website address comes up, then the advert is over. All in the space of about ten seconds. And I only know it’s double glazing cause I looked it up when writing this post. Nothing about the advert indicates double glazing. It’s awful. It’s rubbish. It offends me.

I’m going to stop there otherwise I’ll keep writing all morning. There are so many to choose from!