I once dated a man who’s name I didn’t know

True story.

It happened about five years ago. I saw him every day when I was at work and thought he was utterly beautiful. When I was at work I had a name badge on.

For about a year, I smiled and tried to start conversations. For a year, he smiled politely but didn’t respond. Then one day I went to get some photos developed and he was standing there in the shop! Thankfully, the photos were of friends and I at a party so I looked presentable enough.

When I went to pick them up, he finally responded to my advances and chatted a little. The chatting developed over the next few months until he finally asked me to go for a drink. He’d been saying my name when talking to me for quite a while by this point. Obviously, having a name badge on made it easy for him. But by the time we were going for a drink, I realised I didn’t know his name and we had been flantering (flirty bantering) for too long for me to now ask him.

When he gave me his number he just wrote it on a peice of paper, without his name. Before our date, I tried going online to the website of the shop where he worked but there was nothing about staff names. And so I went for a drink with a man who’s name I did not know.

When the man gave me a gentle kiss goodnight at the bus stop, I still did not know his name. When I saved his phone number under ‘Man,’ I still did not know his name. When we text back and forth to arrange a second date (which we did not end up going on), I still did not know his name.

When he disappeared off the radar altogether for a year or so, then showed up back at my work needing someone to talk to and saying he’d been married and divorced in the past year and struggled with alcoholism, I still did not know his name.

When he cried a little so I took him somewhere quiet to sit and gave him a hug, I still did not know his name.

When he asked me what he needed to say to prove he was still interested (I, unfortunately, no longer was), I still did not know his name.

And now, while I’m remembering how odd that all was, I still do not know his name!

Why do I always say things twice? Why do I always say things twice?

I’ve got this thing about repeating myself. I haven’t worked out why I do it. My biggest one is when I agree with someone, or answer in the positive.

Example:

Customer: “Can I pay with my card here?”
Me: “Yes! Yeh. That’s fine.”

Customer: “Do you have a toilet here?”
Me:Yes, yeh, we do.”

Customer: “Do you sell chocolates?
Me: “Yes, yeh, they’re just over there.”

Why ‘yes’ AND ‘yeh? Sometimes it’s ‘yes’ and ‘yep’. Or ‘yeh’ and ‘yep’. I’ve tried to stop it but it’s like alcoholism or something. I just can’t stop. I can see the problem but I’m too addicted. It’s something I have no control over. I just wait for the next person to ask me something so I can answer twice!

“Hi! I’m Laura and I answer twice!” I’d say at the Answering Twice Anonymous. Or ATA, as they’d be known.

Sometimes I do it when I think I’ve skipped over the point too quickly and maybe the person listening might have missed it.

Example:

Friend: “Are you nervous about your exams?”
Me: “Well, it’s not that I’m nervous as such. I’m studying all the time and I feel ok about them. You know, so I wouldn’t say it nerves. More just getting them over with. I’ve been studying a lot. I feel ok about them.”

I could really save a lot of time by just saying things once. But as fellow members of the ATA will know, sometimes you just want to make extra sure the person is keeping up with what you’re saying, by saying it twice. I know it doesn’t actually work, but I sort of think it does when I’m doing it.