Posts Tagged ‘hide and seek’

Things I have learned whilst hiding from Danda

1. I do not fit behind the bath. Not even if I take out the end panel and crawl in backwards. My shoulders and head still stick out.

2. Make sure it’s actually Danda you can hear parking outside the house. Twenty minutes of hiding by the outside toilet in winter is not fun if it’s not even him.

3. Between the sofa and the bookshelf is probably the best place so far but it is quite uncomfortable and I get foot cramp if I am not found in the first two minutes.

4. Panic-hiding does not work. Despite my best hopes, Danda is not to be fooled by a girl standing in the middle of a room with a hastily arranged duvet over her head.

5. Positioning pillows over my body and laying on the bed would have worked, had Danda not been actively looking for a hidden Laura.

6. If you want to hide behind a door, make sure Danda cannot spot you through the gap next to the hinges.

7. Don’t accidentally press play on the audiobook on your phone just as Danda approaches to look for you.

8. Pre-plan hiding places. Some things really are worth the effort.

9. Don’t look out from your hiding place to check if you are being looked for. The likelihood is that you are being looked for and have just given your hiding place away.

10. Taking a phone call whilst hiding will give you away. Even if you’re just whispering.

Danda and me and Hide And Seek

So, to understand the fabulousness of this story, I need to tell you about the history of Hide And Seek in our house. For some absurd reason, whenever I hear Danda’s key jangling as he approaches the door to come home, I have to hide. I have to. It’s like a compulsion. I can’t help it. Sometimes if there’s not time for me to find a real hiding place I’ll just throw a coat over my head and crouch down in the middle of the floor. On times like these, Danda play-acts not knowing where I am, then I leap out and yell ‘Boo!’ and he asks if the joke is over now and can we please be grown ups.

But so overwhelming is this compulsion to hide, like a small child, that I have hid when I thought I heard his car arriving back. I was so sure it was him that I quickly nipped out of the back door, holding it gently closed. And I waited. I listened. I waited. And I shivered a little, for it is cold in that little section of the house, which is basically like being outside.

Inevitably, he did not come in because it was not his car I had heard.

Sometimes I am upstairs when I hear him come in so I dive under the bed. Danda often forgets about me hiding and when he sees I am not downstairs, he simply puts the kettle on and sits down to watch the news. At times like these, I have to call him to remind him. The phone call usually goes something like this:

Danda: “Hello?”
Me: “Come and find me!”
Danda: “O! I thought you’d gone down to the shop.”
Me: “….noooo. Come and find me.”

He will then come upstairs and find me and we turn back into adults and continue our evening.

Well tonight, ladies and gentlemen, tonight I excelled myself. When I heard Danda approaching the front door, I ran into the front room and looked around. I’ve done every hiding place at least twice but this evening I hid somewhere new. I squeezed a little space inbetween the computer desk and the big comfy chair and I crouched in there silently.

Danda came in, looked in the kitchen and front room and didn’t see me and, remembering my recent phone call, checked upstairs, under the beds and in the bathroom. Upon not finding me, he thought I must have popped to the shop and re-entered the front room to turn the fire on.

It was at this point, with his guard lowered and not expecting me to be home, that I chose my moment and emerged from between the furniture shouting “BOOOO!” like a madwoman. I must confess, the longer he went on without finding me, the more my excitement built. I couldn’t wait to jump out and surprise him! Hence my almost-scream of “Boo!” when I saw my moment arrive.

Danda gave a startled “Aah!” then clutched at his heart and sat down heavily on the sofa¬†laughing and just about staving off the heart attack from shock that threatened to take hold.

It took about twenty minutes of breathlessness and sitting quietly to recover from this one.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what keeps me happy day to day. Little pockets of fun such as this. I derive immense joy from a successful hide and seek escapade and am thinking about putting it on my CV as a ‘life skill.’

Try it one day. I dare you. When you hear your nearest and dearest fumbling about at the lock with their keys, just run and hide somewhere. Anywhere will do. It doesn’t have to be especially inventive. I go through long periods of hiding in the same place every day. It doesn’t matter. It’s the potential for fun which counts.

300 posts!

That’s right. A whole 300 posts! And what fun it’s been. I was trying to think of something significantly 300ish to do to celebrate this feat but so far, since Yaya stayed over last night, I think the only 300s I have achieved today have been watching 300 kids programmes, putting 300 pennies into a piggy bank, making 300 play-doh animals and playing hide and seek 300 times.

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So I checked in with the world wide web for some impressive 300-related world records. The first thing I came across was this brilliant record of having over 300 dogs’ teeth brushed all at once. What’s not to love?! Unfortunately, I am 312 dogs short of being able to even attempt this record so that’s out.

Another great 300 record is the British man who holds the record for putting on the most pair of pants. He wanted to be the first man to put on more than 300 pairs and he has achieved it in quite a spectacular way. Check out the photo of him. Unfortunately, I think I don’t own enough Y-fronts to even attempt this. Even if I wanted to just put all my clothes on, as a pretend attempt at this, I don’t think there would be 300.

My next thought was of food. What could I do that would be food related and about the number 300? I found this, in my Google search, which looks epic and, were I a fan of crabcakes, I’d be all ready to make my own 300lb snack. Unfortunately I am not so I shall remain, happily, crabcake-less.

And then I found the ultimate world record holder. In fact, he holds so many records, he has the world record for holding so many records, over 300! I thought that if I started on his list, then I could possibly get 300 world records too, to celebrate my 300th post! There are a lot of underwater ones, like pogo stick jumping, juggling and unicycling which, so far as I know, probably wouldn’t be allowed in my local pool. So those are out.

He holds the record for balancing a pool cue on his finger and walking the longest distance whilst at the pyramids in Egypt. As I’m in England, that one is also out. I did find a few I can attempt though. Here goes.

Attempt no. 1 – Walking up stairs for 1 minute while balancing a book on my head.
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It was easier than I thought it would be, perhaps due to the fact that I had a soft back book, which flopped onto the shape of the top of my head and I hardly had to try at all. I got a bit cocky though and looked down to check where the step was and dropped it after 103. The record is currently 122 so I’ve got a bit of work to so on that one.

Attempt no. 2 – Most golf balls picked up with toes.
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I spent the entire minute trying to grip any of the balls and wishing for longer toes. I ended up with a grand total of zero.

For my last attempt, I decided I would attempt to sit on the sofa reading Narnia for the longest time ever, for 300 hours! That is soon to be thwarted though, as I have work in two hours…. O well. I tried….

Listening to children talk

Yaya: “Are you five?”
Friend: “No. I’m just four.”
Yaya: “I’M FOUR!”
Friend: “I’ll be five soon.”
Yaya: “O… I won’t be five soon. I’m a little bit littler than you.”
Friend: “Yeh, I’m the biggest.”
Yaya: “BUT! But when I’m five, I’ll be REALLY big!”
Friend: “You can come to my party. It will be at my house. You can come.”
Yaya: “I had a party when I was four. It was at my house. We had cake in the garden.”
Friend: “Look at my picture. It’s of you. Laura, I did a picture of Yaya.”
Me: “Oo, very nice.”
Yaya: “Mine’s green. Cause you know what? Green’s my favourite colour.”
Friend: “And that’s the hair.”
Silence while they colour in.
Friend: “Ok! Let’s play babies! I’m the Mummy and you’re the Daddy.”
Yaya: “Yeh. The mummies are in charge, aren’t they?”
*sounds of me snickering in the corner*
Friend: “Come on. Let’s take our baby out for a walk.”
Yaya: “Let’s play hide and seek! I’ll count. Four. Six. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve!”
*a little look behind the door reveals Friend*
Yaya: “I’m going to colour in now. I need the green pen. Look! Look at my picture.”
Friend: “I’ve got a book about princesses. I’ll get it.”
Yaya: “I’m wearing a Buzz Lightyear t-shirt.”

…And so on and so forth….

H is for…

HIDE AND SEEK!

This is a typical game of Hide and Seek with Yaya:

Yaya: “Auwa, can we play hide and seek?”
Me: “Oo yes, I love hide and seek. Ok, I’ll count, you hide.”
Yaya: “Ok. Ermm…. count to… erm… count to four!”
Me: “Ok! I’ve got my eyes closed! One!…”
(The sound of running feet going off into the distance)
Me: “Two! Three!…”
(The sound of running feet getting closer)
Yaya: “I’m in the playroom, Auwa.”
Me: “Ok. Erm. Alright then.”
(Running feet off into the distance again)
Me: “Four! Coming! Ready or not!”
Yaya, shouting: “Count to seven now, Auwa!”
Me: “Ok. Five! Six! Seven! Coming! Ready or not!”

I walk slowly around the front room, exclaiming loudly, pretending to wonder where he is.

Yaya, from the playroom: “I’m in here!”

Me, walking slowly into the playroom: “Oo, where’s Yaya? Hmm. I wonder where he can be? Is he in the playroom? Let me see… Is he under the table? No! Behind the door? No!”
Yaya, poking his head out from behind the curtain: “I’m here, Auwa. Find me.”
Me: “O right, ok. Oo, I wonder if Yaya is behind the curtains. Yeh! Look! There you are! I found you!”
Yaya, shouting with excitement: “You found me Auwa! You found me! Let’s play again.”

I’m not sure he’s quite got the gist of this game figured out yet.