The time I met Danda at the airport

A little while ago, Danda jetted off into the sun for some Portugal-based fun. I was supposed to be away at the same time but due to some nonsense rules in Texas prisons, I had to postpone it. So I was here and Danda went and had beach fun with family.

On the day Danda was due home, his flight was getting in at 23.15. I left the house at about 10pm and, anticipating boredom, took a Narnia book with me, Prince Caspian to be exact. Now Prince Caspian is a pretty good book, not very like the film apart from the basic story. There is no romance between Caspian and Susan and no rivalry between Caspian and Peter.

Anyway, there I was, on one train then the next, head in my book, wondering if Prince Caspian would beat Miraz and would Aslan come back and help by waking up the trees. There was a lot going on, you know?!

I got to Gatwick and took the shuttle from the South Terminal to the North, head in my book. I got to the North Terminal and looked on the arrivals screen. Danda’s plane had landed and the baggage was in the baggage hall. He’d be about fifteen minutes yet. I might as well chill for a few minutes.

There was a Costa coffee next to a doorway and a sign saying ‘UK arrivals’ above it. Well, I thought, he is arriving and we are in the UK. That must be where he’s coming out. I grabbed a bottle of water, sat within view of the doorway and got reading.

Then Danda called.

“Hi, have you landed?”

“Yeh, where are you?” Danda asked.

Now I’m a girl who loves doing surprises. I love them! I think that’s why I love Hide and Seek so much. And that’s why I said, “Just reading on the sofa.”

“Ok, I’ve just come out so I’ll be ages yet.”

O, he’s only just come off the plane so he’ll be a little while yet, I thought, whilst burying my head in my book again. Still, no-one had come out of the gate I was sitting by, which I thought was a bit wierd. I gave it another ten minutes, then thought something was up. I got up and walked to the arrivals screen and suddenly saw it… The international arrivals gate….

Ah, UK arrivals meant arrivals from other flights within the UK… Not just that we are in the UK. Of course we’re in the bloody UK. As if they would have specified where we are!? Hmm… Top dunce points to Laura.

So I needed to be at the international arrivals gate, not the UK arrivals gate… To be fair, they’re not that far apart so it’s not like I was miles away but I was all taken up with Prince Caspian so I was oblivious to it all.

I stood outside the international arrivals gate for a minute but felt something was wrong. There was no-one coming out. I had to give up my surprise fun and just call Danda…

“Danda, where are you?”

“I’m just on the bus to the car park to pick up the taxi. Why?”

“I’m standing at the international arrivals gate….”

“No! At Gatwick? You’re there?”

“Yes, I came to surprise you but I’ve missed you.”

“O no! Let me get the taxi and come back for you. Where exactly are you stand….. beeeeeeeep.”

His phone died. I called back. Nothing. Just the answerphone. Again and again. Eventually I just had to go out to the road and hang about, hoping he would be able to find me.

So for ten minutes, I stood there, in front Gatwick airport, stranded and unsure whether I’d be picked up.

That’s right, I came to meet Danda at the airport and I ended up stranded, waiting for Danda to pick me up.

Well done, Laura. Well done.

*He found me quite easily and I invented a cover story about having just been at the toilet when he came out the gate. It made me sound less stupid.

Things Trumpkin says

About a week ago, I attempted another challenge from my book called Going Greener by Simon Gear. He asked me to have a cup of tea in the garden. It was about appreciating nature and also getting know the garden all year round. When I woke up on the day I intended to do it, it had rained and looked freezing. So I stayed in bed instead.

This morning, I thought, let’s go for it again, get a jumper on and let’s do this! The last few days have been scorchio so I felt confident it would be nice for my challenge.

And then I woke up this morning and came downstairs and…..

Yeh, I’m regretting putting that towel out on the line now.

And so, the back up plan comes into play. It’s similar to another post I wrote last week, about my favourite quotes from Narnia but today I’m specifically focussing on one character from the fourth book, Prince Caspian, a red dwarf called Trumpkin. You’ll see why I’ve chosen him to quote.

“Horns and halibuts!” exclaimed Trumpkin.

“Bulbs and bolsters!” he thought.

“Whistles and whirligigs!” said Trumpkin.

“Thimbles and thunderstorms!” he cried.

“Lobsters and lollipops!” he muttered.

“Giants and junipers!” Trumpkin shouted.

“Tubs and tortoiseshells!” said Trumpkin.

“Cobbles and kettledrums!” he shouted.

“Wraiths and wreckage!” exclaimed Trumpkin.

“Weights and water-bottles!” came Trumpkin’s angry voice.

Brilliant, aren’t they? We really should speak like this again.

So if you get annoyed at any point today, feel free to use any one of these phrases to exclaim, to show your annoyance. It also works for situations in which you are shocked or excited.

My favourite Narnia quotes

“By gum,” said Digory, “don’t I just wish I was big enough to punch your head!” (The Magician’s Nephew)

“Blast and botheration!” exclaimed Digory. (The Magician’s Nephew)

“That’s all you know,” Digory said to Polly. “It’s because you’re a girl. Girls never want to know anything but gossip and rot about people getting engaged.”
“How exactly like a man!” said Polly in a very grown up voice. “And don’t you say I’m just like a woman, or you’ll be a beastly copy-cat.”
“I should never dream of calling a kid like you a woman,” said Digory loftily.
“Oh, I’m a kid am I?” said Polly who was now in a real rage. “I’ve had enough of you, you beastly, stuck-up obstinate pig!” (The Magician’s Nephew)

“Perhaps I may keep the handkerchief?” said he.
“Rather!” said Lucy. (The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe)

“Well, of all the poisonous little beasts -” said Peter, then said no more.
“I’ll pay you all out for this, you pack of stuck-up, self satisfied prigs.” Edmund was saying to himself. (The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe)

Giants of any sort are now so rare in England and so few giants are good-tempered that ten to one you have never seen a giant when his face is beaming. It’s a sight well worth looking at. (The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe)

“I hope you’ve been quite comfortable,” said Aravis.
“Never better stabled in my life,” said Bree. “But if the husband of that tittering Tarkheena friend of yours is paying his head groom to get the best oats, then I think the head groom is cheating him.” (The Horse And His Boy)

“By Jove!” said Peter. “This is good enough.” (Prince Caspian)

“Well, I’m – I’m jiggered,” said Peter. (Prince Caspian)

“Great Scott!” said Edmund (Prince Caspian)

“Oh bother, bother, bother,” said Susan. (Prince Caspian)

“Why, you silly,” said Peter (who had become strangely excited). (Prince Caspian)

“That’s all right, lass,” said Trumpkin with a chuckle. “A jibe won’t raise a blister.” (Prince Caspian)

“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. His parents called him Eustace Clarence and his masters called him Scrubb. I can’t tell you how his friends spoke to him, for he had none. He called his father and mother Harold and Alberta. They were very up-to-date and advanced people. They were vegetarians, non-smokers and tee-totallers and wore a special kind of underclothes. Eustace Clarence liked animals, especially beetles, if they were dead and pinned in a card. He liked books if they had pictures of fat foreign children doing exercises in model schools.” (The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader)

“We thought the King’s Majesty would have married the Duke’s daughter but nothing came of that -”
“Squints and has freckles,” said Caspian.
“Oh, poor girl,” said Lucy. (The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader)

After that, the Dwarf touched up his donkey and it set off towards the castle at something between a trot and a waddle (it was a very fat little beast). (The Silver Chair)

“Little Swine,” shrieked Eustace, dancing in his rage. “Dirty, filthy, treacherous little brutes,” (The Last Battle)

Rubbish acronyms

BGR

A friend and I were on our way home from a night out. It hadn’t been a particularly raucous night, in fact I think I’d been on apple juice all evening. We had been waiting in Trafalgar Square for ages and finally the bus came. We got on and sat down. Three boys got on after us who had the distinct appearance of computer nerds. Now, I don’t have a problem with computer nerds but I think it goes a long way to explaining what happened if we understand this fact about them. They were very excited, as though they had only just discovered a world outside of computers.

“BGR!” one of them was saying. “BGR! Huh, huh, huh.”

“What does that mean?” one of the other boys asked.

“Bloody good result!” he replied.

The other two loved it! They grinned and started going “Yeh, totally! BGR! BGR!”

And that, my friends, is a true story.

VLT

It may not definitely have been this. It could have been VBT. Anyway, I was watching a programme the other night about telescopes and space etc and they kept on talking about a VLT and how powerful it was, etc etc. By the time someone said the actual words, I’d figured it was some sort of telescope and was imagining maybe it was named after someone or something important, like the Higgs-Boson.

No. What the acronym actually stands for is ‘Very Large Telescope,’ (or possibly Very Big Telescope).

How uninspired. A very large telescope. So they just call it that. The VLT. The very large telescope.

DLF

Now I love Narnia. Every Christmas (December 16th, to be exact), I get out my box set and get reading. I love Aslan. I get frustrated by Edmund in book 2 but by book 3, he’s back on my good side. Susan is endlessly boring and mumsy but her total destitution in book 7 still seems harsh. Lucy is fabulous and never a disappointment.

Apart from once. In book 4, Prince Caspian, they are on a journey by boat and Trumpkin the dwarf, who was sent to find them calls them ‘little children’. Lucy returns the insult by referring to him as her ‘dear little friend’, which then becomes ‘the DLF.’ And they keep calling him it through the whole book. The DLF. I just think it sounds silly.

BFBFF

Are you ready for this one?

Best Facebook friends forever.

Hilarious.