Things I can’t wait to do after my exams

(Just a short one today as my brain is crowded out with statutes and case names…)

– Wake up just one hour before work, instead of two.

– Read novels. Or in fact anything which is not a textbook.

– Have spare time and just watch TV or sit in the garden.

– Be able to hold conversations that are absent of any mention of revision.

– Go for long walks.

– Say yes to social engagements.

– Eat properly and have separate meals instead of one long snack-fest.

– Sit somewhere apart from the front room.

– Not have scraps of notes or random textbooks on every surface.

– Take time to make myself look presentable.

– Wear clothes instead of pyjamas.

PS. Why do we say we ‘can’t wait’? That’s silly, isn’t it? Of course we can. We have to. That’s just how time works. You can’t make time move any faster than it does. Therefore, regardless of whether we want to wait or not, we have to. It’s not a question of ‘can’t’. You just have to.

“I’m alright”

I have a friend who doesn’t understand why I say this when I do. Actually, neither can I. But I say ‘I’m alright’ as a reply to questions quite often. Examples are:

Friend: “Laura, would like a cup of tea?”
Me: “I’m alright.”

Friend: “This programme is a bit boring. Would you like to watch something else on TV?”
Laura: “I’m alright. I’m studying anyway.”

Friend: “Would you like to stay for dinner?”
Me: “I’m alright, thanks. I’d better get home and study.”

I’m alright?! How is that synonymous with ‘yes’ or ‘no’? I use it to mean ‘no’ but why? Why is telling someone what your mood is like the same as saying ‘no, thank you’? The friend who gets annoyed always replies with, “Yes, I know you’re alright. But would you like a cup of tea?” He says that unless I’m really crying or have mentioned that I’m not feeling good for any reason, he can presume that I’m alright. But that’s not the conversation he was having. He’s asking me if I want something.

But I can’t help it. It just comes out when I’m answering a question. ‘I’m alright,’ I say, as if it’s an answer. I guess it means, ‘I’m alright without it.’ That’s still not satisfactory because lots of things I’m ‘alright’ without but I still want them. I’m ‘alright’ without the cup of tea, no big disaster is going to happen, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want one. So no, it doesn’t really make a lot of sense, no.

I definitely used to say ‘I’m good’ to mean the same thing. I remember being on a driving lesson and saying it. Driving instructor said something about lessons next week, was I going to book an extra one, or something, and I said, ‘I’m good’ to mean no.

It’s like there are two different conversations going on. One person is saying, ‘I’m asking you if you want something,’ and you’re saying, ‘Let me tell you about my behaviour/mood.’ It’s quite rude really, just interrupting their conversation and starting a different one. Imagine if that’s how all conversations went:

“Hi, how are you?” “I love cricket.”

“Do you want to meet up for a coffee?” “Did you know my middle name is Louise?”

“I’ll call you later.” “I must remember to pick up the dry cleaning.”

We wouldn’t get very far in our interactions, would we? We’d all just be going on about random things whilst in the company of other people.

I must try using ‘yes’ and ‘no’ more often, I guess.

P.S. 16 days til first exam. Today’s study topic is Formalities in Equity and Trusts Law.

Cake talk

Today, I have a day off work, so my brain has gone into meltdown. I’m not very good with time off. So I make jobs for myself. I have made a cake this morning already. I have also done a bit of Land Law revision. It’s mortgages today. Not the most fascinating thing I can think of. With the brain in meltdown, I’m not very good at thinking what to blog about. So I’m just going to blog what’s on my mind.

The biggest thing is planning a wedding cake. Not for me, I might add! Someone else is getting married and I’m doing their cake. (Me? Getting married? What a hilarious thought!) I had trouble falling asleep last night because I was planning it in such detail. I love a foodie project. Yesterday I went into the cake supplies shop and was just out of control. It’s like someone had unleashed the mad woman that I usually keep under wraps and told her to get one of everything! It’s not like I went in with a plan in mind and got things which fitted with my plan. Instead I looked in great detail at absolutely everything in the shop and thought about how I could possibly use it, picked it up and kept moving. Occasionally I placed things back when I’d re-made the plan after looking at the next item but my arms were still pretty full by the time I got to the till (maybe an hour after entering the shop).

When I was falling asleep last night I was running through, over and over again what I was going to do, whether I should put this here or that there. What type of cake should I do for the cake bit? I also took the momentous step of finally purchasing a piping bag, which is a thing I’ve always felt like I should have but was quite intimidated by, like muslin cloth. I now have both. I think I should practise piping things first because I can just see a big disaster happening on the actual cake.

Now I don’t want to jinx things by talking about it too much and I hope Mr/Mrs Soon-To-Be-Married don’t stop by this blog before the big day but here’s the plan. Opinions please.

He owns a gallery and requested a cake in the shape of a picture frame. So I’m going to do a square/rectangle cake with gold frosting for the frame bit. Then inside the frame there’ll just be white frosting and I got two little silver letters for their names.

Oo! I’ve just thought! Gold framing and silver letters?! It’s not going to go together. Dammit. Should I go and get gold letters instead? Or will that be gold overload?

Anyway, two letters for names, whichever colour they end up being. Then I have edible red carnation petals that I thought I’d make a little flower out of for one corner and two small white icing hearts for the opposite corner. I’ve got two teeny tiny mini champagne flutes to put in the middle and thought I’d make some really small white chocolate truffles to either put on the board around the bottom of the cake or to put round the edge next to the flower, so it looks like part of the pattern on the frame.

It will probably change tomorrow, and the next day, so I’m going to start making little sketches or something so I remember each idea before I change it. Actually, here’s the one for what my current idea is… (Obviously my artistic skills are somewhat lacking and the proportions will no doubt end up completely different.Those little blobs in the two corners are the mini white chocolate truffles.)

Anyway, that’s the main thing on my mind this morning. Other thoughts are:

‘I’d better try and finish revising mortgages today as the exams are really close..’

….and ‘Omygoodness I ate a lot at the staff meal out last night, I should probably try to do a long walk or something to balance it out…’

…and ‘I want to make the truffles for the cake today.’

E is for…

EVERY DAY!

These are the things I do every day.

Drink tea x 10000
Yoga
Blog
Bake
Food shop
Walk
Watch TV
Check phone x 10000
Think about how soon my exams are
Look at my pile of textbooks (I don’t mean, looking at the words on the page, I mean looking at the pile, then looking away again)

‘Baking every day?’ you might say. ‘EVERY day?’ Well, yes. I find a way, don’t you worry. Things always need making. Last week I made (are you ready?) banana bread x 2, raspberry marshmallows, plum jam, baklava, an Easter egg, fruity nutty snack bars, vanilla and goji berry muffins x 4, two loaves of bread (one I turned into breadcrumbs) and then all the stuff I ate for my normal meals. I don’t usually eat any of the cakey stuff I make so that’s not my actual calorie intake, in case you’re thinking I must be really hungry all the time!

I like to feed people. I’m definitely a feeder. I like to give people things I’ve made but then there’s the nervousness in case they don’t like it but they’re too polite to say. So there’s the worry and the ‘Is it ok? Are you sure? Is it tasty? It’s ok if it’s not. Did I overcook it? Undercook it? Are there too many nuts in it? Not enough nuts? Are you sure it’s tasty?’

Linked in with that is food shopping. Yes I do that thing everyone does, a big massive shop every few days or every week or something, so why do I need to go every day? Because I like it! I like going through the slidey doors and the cool air welcomes you in and you just walk around, amongst all the food, and feel nice. I wander up and down the jam section, getting ideas for new flavours to experiment with. I potter around the fruit section, seeing if there are any offers on, planning my next baking adventure. I go to the bread and cake section, stealing ideas again. Then to the baking aisle and debate whether the 500 eggs in my fridge are enough or whether I need 6 more. Survey the tea selection. Then I end up at the cookbook section, sneakily reading them cover to cover. Then I emerge back into the sunlight, an hour later, empty handed but feeling wonderful. Sometimes that’s all I need. I’ve had my kick.

Watching TV every day. You know, I couldn’t even tell you what I’ve watched recently. It’s such a mindless activity. And so much time gets absorbed into it. It’s probably the most useless ‘every day’ thing I do. When I’m a bit knackered from work I settle down on the sofa with a cup of tea and stare at it but it’s not really like I’m watching it, I’m in some sort of trance and the TV happens to be there, keeping me company.

I’m not even going to start on ‘think about how soon my exams are’ and ‘look at my pile of textbooks.’ I worked hard all year actually, so it’s not like I’m really intimidated by it. I think it will be fine. It’s just doing it, getting started on the revision. I will. Soon.