Cleaning and counting and piles of dirt

I bet you thought this’d be a pretty boring post about the fact that I spent hours cleaning up the Orangery and stock counting yesterday, didn’t you?

Um…. yeh.

I’m going to put pictures in to keep your attention, right? So don’t go off all annoyed, thinking I’ve suddenly got boring.

First picture.

See? I told you it’d be good. That’s the floor. Those with good observational skills will notice that I’ve moved all the furniture to the top section at the back, in order to clean the floor better.

Are you making notes, everyone? That’s my first top tip today. Move the furniture out of the way, if you want to give a more thorough clean.

Next picture.

This is the dirt I have accumulated by sweeping.

Fascinating stuff, isn’t it? Notice the half eaten piece of buttered bread in amongst the dirt there? I can also report that there was an Iced Gem (who remembers those?) and a leaflet about Chichester Parish Church. Fascinating.

After all this cleanliness, it was time for a bit of counting. Hands up, who’s good at counting! Well, at one stage, I had to count all the teabags so I started pulling the boxes of tea out of the cupboard. A box of peppermint tea was feeling a little rebellious and wouldn’t come out of the cupboard. Rather than have a look at what it was caught on, I just kept pulling and eventually, this happened.

Top tip number two: don’t just keep pulling the box if it doesn’t want to move.

After that, I scrubbed down the wooden tables and the potwash machine. Then the potwash had a fliddy cause it doesn’t like being cleaned. So I stood and watched it freak out and ate a crisp sandwich. Cause I’m so gourmet.

Now, children. Wasn’t that fascinating? Didn’t you enjoy that little story about cleaning and counting? Isn’t your day much improved now? I thought so.

I aim to please, readers.

*inspiration is low today, clearly*

Laura’s top tips

A few days ago, I was reading Chat and I came across some top tips that were madness. For example, eat your kiwi fruit out of an egg cup. That was it. That was the whole tip and it won £25. So I thought to myself, “Wait a minute, I can do this too.” So now, especially for you, I present Laura’s Top Tips! Enjoy.

Got short hair and want it longer? Stand next to a horse’s tail and drape it over your shoulder. Everyone will think it is your hair!

Running out of milk and bread at home? Take £3 and go to the shop and get some more!

Hair too curly all the time? Buy straighteners and straighten it.

Jumper got a hole in it? Fill it in with paper machier. No-one will be able to tell the difference.

Feeling ill? Take some medicine! You will be better in no time.

Got floorboards on your floor and fed up of hoovering all the time? Just sweep the dirt into a pile and brush it down the gaps in between the floorboards.

Getting cold in the evenings? Keep a Downstairs Duvet next to the sofa and snuggle under it when it starts getting chilly.

Worried about what to cook for dinner? Use a cookbook!

Ever wonder why your clothes take ages to dry when they’re in a pile on the ground? Put them over a clothes horse individually and wait until dry.

Bored? Read a book!

That’s it for today. I don’t want to overload your brain with my amazing tips so I’ll do some more another day. Good luck with the tips, I hope they help you.