Posts Tagged ‘Trouble’

Truffle. By Taylor Swift.

Do you know what I noticed the other day? You know that song by Taylor Swift which, embarrassingly enough, I loved? It’s called Trouble. Well, I noticed yesterday, that the song is immeasurably improved by simply changing the word Trouble to Truffle, throughout. 

 

Have a listen and follow the lyrics. I have changed some other stuff too, for fun. Don’t expect it to make sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNoKguSdy4Y

 

There’s some nonsense adverts at the beginning then some chitchat. Boooooooring. Skip to 2:02.

Once upon a time
A few dinners ago
I was in the kitchen
You got me alone
You found me, you found me, you found me

I guess you didn’t know
That I would get obsessed
And when I fell hard
You took a step in
The saucepan, the saucepan, the saucepa-a-a-a-an.

And he’s baking
When the oven’s on
And I realize the truffle’s on me

Cause I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had
Till you put me down, oh
I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had
Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle

No apologies
He’ll never see you eat
Pretend he doesn’t know
That he’s the reason why
You’re eating, the truffles, you’re eating

And I heard you moved on
From truffles on the plate
A new lunch in your day
Is all I’ll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see
He was hungry
When he met me
And I realize the truffle’s on me

I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had
Till you put me down, oh
I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had,
Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle

And the saddest fear comes creeping in,
That you ate all of,

The truffles,

From the fridge,

And in the kitchen, yeah

I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had
Till you put me down, oh
I knew you were truffle when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to tastes I had never had
Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle
Oh, oh, truffle, truffle, truffle

I knew you were truffle when you walked in
Truffle, truffle, truffle
I knew you were truffle when you walked in
Truffle, truffle, truffle!

Please don’t judge me

There are many things about me that are slightly embarrassing. I have embraced those things. Things such as my inexplicable love of lists and my joy at a new filing project. Things like how I used to spend hours compiling colour coded diagrams of who was going to get what Christmas card in my class at school. Things like how I have to put on or try out things as soon as I have bought them and am leaving the shop. Things like how I secretly love dieting because I like control and restrictions (it’s mental, I know, dieting is supposed to be awful). Things like how I know all the words to The Lion King film. And to The Sound of Music. Things like how I almost tried out for the school talent show by playing Jingle Bells on my violin (badly). Things like how I supported Manchester United because I fancied Ryan Giggs. Things like how I had a thing for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Things like how Gremlins scared me so much I had nightmares about them. Things like how I once burped unexpectedly in the middle of an exam.

But there is one thing about myself that I cannot reconcile with the person I imagine I am. With the things I usually like and do. With the music and films and books I usually like. With the people I associate myself with or imagine I would like if I ever met.

This one thing is currently beyond comprehension to me as it came like a bolt of lightning from nowhere. I was as shocked as you will be.

And that is because I have the most awful thing to admit.

I like Taylor Swift’s latest song!

Shit. O god o god o god. I’m so sorry, don’t leave! I know she’s an idiot. I know it! And I know she goes out with anyone and everyone then writes entire albums about it. I know her first song about Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone was awful. It was offensive to my ears and I couldn’t stand it or her. I know her music is cheesy and unbearable. I know all these things.

But that doesn’t stop the fact that when I heard Trouble on the TV, I liked it. Ok? I just liked it. Please don’t judge me.

Are we still friends?