Posts Tagged ‘truck’

The Crazies

Did anyone else see this film on TV last night? Was anyone else getting a bit scared? I was.

The story goes like this: a plane carrying chemical weapons crashes into a lake, the water supply to a little town becomes infected, people start going crazy, the infection becomes airborne, the army come to isolate the town and destroy it. 

In amongst all this are the sheriff and his wife, who is the town’s doctor. They are not infected so they try to escape.  Given that every place they go is filled with crazy people, do you find the following behaviour acceptable?

1. Sheriff guy walking down a street, hears a noise in the funeral parlour place, runs inside to find out what’s going on. Runs inside a funeral parlour. What on earth? If there are people being all crazy just in the streets, it’s probably going to be worse in there. Leave it alone. He inevitably gets attacked by the crazed funeral man. 

2. Sheriff and wife get to their house and are packing up some things to take on their escape. Wife starts wandering around in the baby room cause she’s pregnant and was going, “Sob, sob, this was going to be the baby’s room.” Ok, we don’t have time to be pottering about at leisure having emotional moments, for starters. Secondly, there are crazies everywhere. Everywhere. Sure enough, there’s a crazy in the baby room who ties wife up. Sheriff hears a noise, goes upstairs, almost gets killed by a crazy.

3. As they are driving, a helicopter goes overhead. They pull into a car wash to hide. There is a whole crazies attack then the helicopter blows up the car, without them in it, phew. They then choose, of all the routes they could choose, to walk out in the big wide road, in plain view of any other helicopters waiting to blow up anything that moves.

4. They reach a police checkpoint and the deputy, who is with them, says he’ll create a distraction and they should escape under the bridge. Yep, fine, all goes to plan. Then they run off down the middle of a road surrounded by grass and shrubbery and make no attempt to hide.

5. They get to a gas station. He’s like “Stay here.” So she stays there. Outside. Alone. And he goes inside. Alone. Two stupid things happen next. Wife starts wandering around, looking round corners and in old trucks.  As you do when there are a load of crazies loose. Sheriff, on the other hand, instead of grabbing the nearest food and drink and getting out ASAP, starts having a little wander.  He’s poking about, having a little nose around in a leisurely manner.  Cause that’s what you do when the crazies are hanging around, right?

6. They find each other again after a little scare and they’re sitting in the cafe bit going “Phew. We found each other again.  Phew. Close one.” Then he goes, “Stay here,” and walks off and she’s all like, “Yeh, no big deal.  Only that every time we separate, one of us is attacked.” So she starts walking all around again, as though she’s at the park, kicking through the autumn leaves, not a care in the world. A crazy finds her but her and sheriff manage to reunite and find a truck to drive to get away. Again, they drive down the middle of the road, in plain sight of everyone. 

After this last silliness, they do manage to escape but not due to any stealth or clever planning on their part.

Ridiculous, right? I mean, everyone knows that when the crazies visit town and the army are trying to decimate you, you stick together and stay under cover. Surely?

Well, if the crazies visit you today, take my advice.  You won’t regret it.

Big trucks and Michael Buerk

Did anyone else used to love those programmes where they reenacted terrible/unusual accidents? There was a programme on when I was younger called 999 and the presenter was a guy called Michael Buerk. I loved Michael Buerk. He seemed terribly grown up and in control.

I remember quite clearly a few of the accidents we were shown on 999 (which, by the way, if you asked me the theme tune to, I could easily sing for you). One was a boy who was climbing on some scaffolding near a park fence. He fell from the scaffolding and was impaled on the decorative upward spikes on the top of the park fence. I used to love the reconstructions. Love them! I’m not sure why I was so fixated on this programme and its theme tune and its reconstructions. But I was.

Something that happened with some regularity on 999 was people getting trapped in cars when they had either flipped over and landed in a ditch or something bigger and heavier than them had fallen and crushed them.

The reconstruction would usually consist of someone at an awkward angle, surrounded by crushed metal groaning and moaning a lot while some firemen tried to cut the roof off the car and free the trapped person. Often there’d be a kindly fireman who had wedged himself in at a dangerous angle to talk to the person and try and keep them awake. These talking-firemen were my favourite. Almost as favourite as Michael Buerk.

I bet you’re wondering what on earth anything here has to do with anything ever in the world ever, what am I going on about, etc etc. Well, Emily and Kelly have given their instructions and so I must obey. This week, they want me to write about the time I got scared.

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And this obsession with the 999 programme has had a lasting effect on my adult self. If ever I am driving on a motorway (it’s specifically a motorway), and I’ve decided it’s time for me overtake a lorry in front, there’s a brief fleeting moment, as I pass it by and I look at it’s great mass towering over me (if there’s any wind causing things to sway, the feeling is much more intense) and fear is struck into my heart. The next ten seconds of my life flash in front of my eyes and they consist of the heavy dull crunch of metal, immediately followed by the theme tune to 999 and Michael Buerk’s face.

I put my foot down a little harder, speed past the impending doom and tuck back in in front of it, in relative safety, and breathe a sigh of relief that Michael Buerk can stay at home today.