Posts Tagged ‘wedding’

Another exciting award!

Last week, a fabulous blogger Kindredspirit23, included me in his list of nominees for the Blogger of the Year award! Scott writes a brilliant blog, with fantastic perspectives on life, given his recent serious health issues. There is always something lovely to read there.

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This one is especially fabulous because there are no guidelines on having to give it to a certain number of people. You just give to the people you feel deserve it, which I like. The rules are as follows:

 

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award
2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.
3 Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)
4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them
5 You can now also join our Facebook page – click the link here ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award Award and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience
6 As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…

 

Now for my post about why I have nominated the people I have. It’s mainly because they are some of my favourite blogging friends and I’d love to circumvent the ocean that divides us and have a cup of tea together. These nominations are like a virtual cup of tea, if you use your imagination….

 

Fitness and Frozen Grapes – The healthiest plates of food I have ever seen, for starters. And because reading about all that running and swimming and cycling kind of makes me feel fit by association.

 

Someone Fat Happened – Because there is nothing that I don’t like on this blog. Plus, I’m trying to get her to say she’ll wear my big ugly purple crocs at her wedding and I figure this nomination might persuade her it’s a good idea.

 

The Waiting – Because the insights of a new mother can be very amusing. As can pictures of babies in funny costumes. And posts called ‘Gingivitis Friday’ – what’s not to love?

 

Eat, Move, Love – A great new blog on the fitness scene. After reading it, I decided to try the yoga class which prompted this post.

The Good Greatsby – There is always space for a nomination for this blog. I often check it for advice before making big important life decisions.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

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Wedding goats and dog training

Ok. It’s time to revisit everyone’s favourite magazine again. That’s right. Chat. The best magazine in the world. I shall now prove this by sharing some of the amazing titbits I found inside this week’s offering.

Firstly, I had to buy it when I saw it because in the top left hand corner were the words ‘You’ve goat to be kidding me.’ I just knew it was going to be amazing. Sure enough, when you flip to the back page, there’s a picture of a lady in a wedding dress with some goats on leads and the words ‘Me and the kids.’ The goat puns don’t stop there though. There’s a picture of the bride with her bridesmaids and goats, with the caption ‘Say (goat’s) cheese everyone!’

The story is about a woman who works at an animal rescue centre and loves the goats. The way she talks about them in the article is hilarious. She says to her fiance one day, ‘I met a wonderful goat at the centre today.’

She met a goat? She met it? Really? As though she was at her local, having a pint, and she saw someone also alone, so sidled over and gave it her best chat-up line. Then came home and said she’d met a wonderful goat.

Anyway, fiance proposes, they’re planning the wedding. By this point she’s ‘met’ another really great goat called Geoff. She says to fiance she wants the goats involved in the wedding – ‘I want Geoff to be ringbearer and Fuschia to be maid of honour – no butts!’ She then tells us about getting big gold satin bows for the goats and little thingys for their hooves and finishes off by saying, ‘Yes, it’s an odd love story, mine and Martin’s. But you know what? I bleatin’ love it that way!’ Fabulous.

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Ok, another great story is a little short one at the end. The basic outline goes like this – my daughter is 14, I like her hair long so she’s never ever had it cut, she decided the other day to get it all cut off, look, here it is her cut-off hair. Fascinating stuff.

One of the letters written in to the problem page is pretty good. It’s about something really serious. A real problem that is unable to be resolved through any other channels. Good job Chat is here to help people who have real emergencies…. ‘I’ve got two cats. My partner has a dog. We’ve just moved in together but his dog hates one of my cats. He snarls and chases her whenever he sees her. How do we resolve this?’

And the advice? Tell the dog ‘No!’ when he starts chasing the cat.

Phew! Thanks, Chat! They’re so helpful. If it weren’t for them, how would Frances, 40, have ever worked out what to do when the dog is chasing the cat around. I imagine her sitting on the sofa, blankly staring at the dog chasing the cat around the front room and thinking, in despair, ‘I’m sure there’s something I should be doing here to prevent this from happening. I just can’t think what it is. I know, I’ll write to Chat.’ She buys Chat the following week, eagerly flips to the letters page and there it is, the answer to all her problems! At last! She can hear the dog growling and chasing the cat in the back garden and she runs out there, Chat in hand, a light switch has gone on in her world. She sees the dog and the cat and yells ‘NO! NO!’ The dog looks up, surprised. What is this word he’s never heard before? Something tells him he’s being shouted at. He slopes off to hide somewhere and the cat potters away, free from the constant torture, happy at last. Frances’ world is transformed. Chat has saved her. Thank god for Chat.

Another letter is the ‘Facebook photo of the week’ which is just of a little boy in swimming trunks. He’s just standing there in his trunks, smiling. Nothing to merit being photo of the week. His name, we are told, is Noah-Freddie. Poor child.

Ok, one last bit of amazingness for you. A top tip. Are you ready? This could really help you at home actually, transform your life even. Ok. Here goes.

Use a peice of dry bread to clean your lampshades.

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Trolls

This word is being bandied around a lot lately, it’s the new name for people who commit crimes on social media sites, like Twitter. Sometimes it’s a racist slur, sometimes it’s misleading people. Or whatever. The people who commit these online crimes, are being called Trolls.

It puzzles me. How is posting a racist insult on Twitter similar to a ugly creature that lives under a bridge and won’t let you cross unless you answer some questions?

Anyway, that is a small aside and not what this post is about. Because hearing all this Troll talk got me thinking about those troll toys you used to get. Does anyone remember these? Check them out on Amazon if this isn’t ringing any bells – http://www.amazon.co.uk/trolls-Toys-Games/s?ie=UTF8&keywords=Trolls&rh=n%3A468292%2Ck%3ATrolls&page=1

They were these ugly little things, naked, with a burst of long brightly coloured hair. Whoever thought these would sell? If I’d have seen the idea in the company boardroom I would’ve told them to shelve it, it’ll never work. But it did. My friends and I all had them. I’d sit with mine for ages, plaiting the hair, unplaiting it, doing bunches, taking them out, doing a ‘fish-plait’ (cause that was quite cool then). Hours, I spent with mine, hours!

They got more complicated, they had dresses, they came in different sizes, they came in keyring format, fridge magnet format, huge lumbering ones that took up loads of your bed. Pink, purple, yellow, green, blue! And they were the ugliest things you’ve ever seen. Why was I so obsessed?

And so I come to it, one of my biggest childhood regrets. Such a wasted opportunity. Such potential for joy, thrown away in a moment of frivolity and strange obsession.

It was coming up to my birthday, I don’t know which one, maybe 6 or 7. And I had been asked what I wanted for my birthday. Trolls, only trolls, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more! We were out shopping, I think my auntie and mum were there. There was a shop which sold trolls. We went in. And that’s when I saw them – two HUGE trolls in wedding outfits! A groom with a black suit and coat tails and purple hair, and a bride in a white dress and long pink hair.

I wanted them. I wanted them more than I’d ever wanted anything. I looked at my mum and auntie and they agreed that they’d get me them for my birthday present. So I had them, these huge trolls. I put them on my bedroom window sill and played with their hair a little bit, but mostly just watched them, standing there, admiring their hugeness.

Now you tell me if you agree with me. But what a WASTE! What a big fat waste of a year’s worth of birthday present?!

I didn’t ride a bike until really late. I could’ve done with asking for a bike and getting started on that sooner. Or a book? I’ve never read some real classics, like The Water Babies and I was a late arriver to the Winnie The Pooh fanclub. There was surely plenty more things that would have been a far better idea.

But no. I wanted two massive ugly trolls in wedding attire with illuminous hair, to stand on my window sill.

I’m beginning to doubt the sanity of my 7 year old mind.

Reasons why my big brother is cool

When the older years and younger years at primary school had play time together and my friends and I were playing with a ball, whenever I got it, I’d run over to my big brother and shout ‘chuck it!’ and he’d throw it really far. I remember thinking I’d never seen anyone throw a ball that far in my entire life.

When we got sweets at the shop, he made up a cool game where he was the bin. To play, I’d press his nose and his mouth would open. I’d press his nose again and his mouth would close. Then I’d press it and he’d chew the sweet. Then I’d press again and he’d swallow it. Inevitably, my brother cleverly got all the sweets and I got none. But it was SUCH a fun game!

He listened to way cool music. I went through a phase where I decided that I’d like exactly the same music as him, to try and extract some of his coolness. I listened to Fugees and Nas and didn’t understand a word but I knew it was cool.

I used to sit and watch him play computer games while I’d write my little stories. I didn’t really know what Championship Manager was about but I’d watch him play it for ages nonetheless.

We used to get up early on weekend mornings, put our duvets on the stairs and get a sleeping bag. One person would get into the bottom of the sleeping bag and the other would sit at the top and we’d bump down the stairs. It was WAY more fun than it sounds.

He and his friends would play football on the back field and I’d sit nearby, reading or writing a little story. When the ball would roll too far, I’d run and collect it for them. Like a one-girl fan club! Just lingering around, watching them run about and not having a clue what was going on.

Sometimes we were allowed to put up the two man tent in the back garden and sleep overnight in it. We’d hang out in the tent feeling like we were on a massive adventure. That was fun.

I heard my brother tell a joke once so I told it to everyone I knew. It went like this – What do you get if you go under a cow? A pat on the back. I honestly had no idea what was funny about it! I thought it meant that you were really brave for going under the cow. People laughed when I told it and I didn’t know why. But because my big brother had said it, I said it.

My big brother was the coolest guy in his school when on the final year photos he did a cool hand gesture thing. I forget what it was. I just remember thinking he was pretty out-there and fun.

My big brother taught me how to ride a bike. I learned really late and was quite embarrassed about it and one day, he took me to the race track on the back field and taught me how to ride. Thanks for that, by the way!

When my big brother got married last year, he asked me to do a reading in the ceremony. Amazing. My cool big brother wanted ME to do a reading at his wedding. It is still the best wedding I’ve ever been to. Well, of course it was. It was MY big brother’s wedding!

Happy birthday, big brother!

Attempting ‘sporty’

I’ve decided that it’s time to give my list of Stuff I’d Like To Do Post-Exams another go. I’ve done Getting Excited About Stuff, which was good. I think next I’ll do Being Sporty. I mean my version of sporty, by the way. Which I think is most people’s version of mild exercise. I’m ok with that.

Yesterday I went on the most epic walk along the river, which was amazing. I came across a boat race, a mariner’s club open day, an outdoor art installation, open air theatre, a jazz concert, a music festival, an open-house day at a group of artists’ studios, two schools’ open days and a wedding in a gallery. It’s lovely what nice weather can do. I discovered loads of things that I’ve been walking past for years but never gone in. Huge stately homes and beautiful gardens. Funny little islands and secret passageways. Fantastic statues and royal residences. It was such a lovely way to spend a Saturday.

Even when rain threatened to stop play and I didn’t have a jacket, I soldiered through and it stopped in the end. Even when my shoes threatened to tear apart the backs of my heels (silly me for wearing the trainers I hardly use for a long walk), I found a shop and bought plasters and kept going. I had a London Walks guide book with me and had just picked the first in the list and was reading the information as I went around. It was great fun.

So I decided this week I am going to challenge myself to do something active every day. Not just a ten minute stroll to Waitrose. Actually active. I’ll keep you updated.

I also started NaNoWriMo a few days ago (National Novel Writing Month). You write 1667 words a day and in a month you have a 50,000 word novel! Finding time for it is a bit of a challenge but I’ve kept it up so far