Given that Emily at The Waiting is one of the coolest bloggers I know, I will follow, sheep-like, any suggestions she makes.
“Do Secret Santa, Laura,” she said last December.
“Yes, Emily,” I said and got a present ready for a stranger.
“Come to my child’s 1st birthday party,” Emily said in March.
“Yes, Emily,” I replied, sending in a suitably childlike photo of myself and my brother so we could attend the celebrations.
More recently, Emily teamed up with Zebra Garden, an equally fantastic blogger, to create a kind of Thursday blog-prompt thing. I don’t definitely understand but I said “Yes, Emily,” obediently and resolved to get my head round it.
Fingers crossed I’ve managed and you’re viewing an impressive looking blog badge thing with Emily and Ashley’s names on it?
Anyway, the theme is sleepover so here’s a kind of hashed-together instruction manual of things that must happen at sleepovers. Because Emily told me to.
1. An evening which turns into an unexpected sleepover will require you to sleep in your clothes rather than ask your friend to borrow some because you’re far FAR too embarrassed. You then spend the entirety of the next day in them and don’t see what the problem might be.
2. Warbling along to Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful and really believing you are destined for worldwide fame because of your amazing voice. You’re singing, by the way, into a deodorant bottle.
3. Drinking J2O and acting squiffy because you haven’t quite understood that it is a juice drink which is designed to look alcoholic but actually isn’t.
4. Eating so many fried egg sweets and gobstoppers that you’re on the verge of vomiting but refusing to stop.
5. Playing truth or dare except it’s mostly truths and it’s mostly ‘which boys do you fancy?’ A big secret must be revealed at every sleepover or the whole exercise seems slightly pointless. In the day following the revelation, you must all giggle and look at each other knowingly across classrooms because you all know The Big Secret. Mine, by the way, was the revelation that I had a massive crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger when I was younger. Look, don’t laugh! I know you’ve got some. Haven’t you?
6. Watching a film you’ve watched a ton of times, that you could recite the entire script to but still insisting that you watch it. Mine and my friend Alison’s was The Great Gatsby (the Robert Redford and Mia Farrow version). Another standard one was The Sound of Music (loved it, LOVED it) or Dirty Dancing.
7. Inevitably, you talk about the current ‘issues’ you’re struggling with. Example 1 – I’m not sure what to do when I go on the sunbed, do I leave my bra on or not? Example 2 – how long should I wait before squeezing a spot?
8. There must, and I repeat must, be some occasional squealing, high pitched laughter and, if you’re feeling risky, an actual scream or two. A parent will then appear with sleepy eyes and implore you to ‘please quieten down, girls, it’s after 1am and you’ve all got a big day tomorrow.’
9. About every fifth sleepover with the same group, there will likely be a falling-out or, at the very least, a change in set-up of the best friends in the group. The subtle change of moving your number 2 friend into the Best Friend spot will have far-reaching consequences which could deeply affect the demoted friend. Until, that is, the following week in school when you have Maths together and you re-establish her in the number 1 spot.
10. I don’t really have a number 10 but it’s a better number than 9 so I put it there. Um. Okay, let me think of something to say. O yes, I once left my removable retainer thing for my teeth at a friend’s house after a sleepover and I was HORRIFIED! Too horrified to ask for it back. How. Embarrassing. So I left it there and my bottom teeth moved slightly so now they overlap a little. All because I was 15 years old and embarrassed by absolutely everything.
Posted by The Waiting on July 12, 2013 at 22:58
Aside from the fact that this is wonderful and SO dead-on, (especially #9, OMG even the frequency of the fallings-out is eerily accurate), my favorite thing about this post is that I learned two new things. One, the word “squiffy.” I assume it means drunk? It is pretty much the best piece of British slang I have heard in awhile and I’m adding it to my vocabulary posthaste. Two, that fried egg sweets exist. I have absolutely no idea what that could be. Please enlighten.
Love,
Your friend who makes you do all kinds of blogging stunts
Posted by lazylauramaisey on July 14, 2013 at 17:48
Squiffy is like tipsy. On your way to being drunk but not there yet. And fried egg sweets are amazing. They’re jellyfish and foam and taste like sugar and cheap. And I LOVED them.
Posted by maybesomeday9771 on August 9, 2013 at 01:27
This explains sleepovers too the exact!! I once left underwear at a friends house… They were my favorite pair. The ones that fit just right… I could have never asked for them back!! Embarrassing!
Posted by lazylauramaisey on August 9, 2013 at 06:39
O GOD, no! Of course not. You leave the pants and flee the scene, claiming ignorance. It is the ONLY way to cope with situations of that nature when you’re teenaged and embarrassed about EVERYTHING.
Posted by maybesomeday9771 on August 9, 2013 at 14:08
Right!! The was one day that she asked the group of us if any of us were missing a pair of underwear, but I course none of us could claim… Especially me since they were mine.
Posted by lazylauramaisey on August 13, 2013 at 11:55
Omygoodness. They did the same thing on a school weekend away camp thing. They were my knickers and I pretended I didn’t know who’s they were when the teacher asked the whole year group.
Posted by maybesomeday9771 on August 13, 2013 at 13:34
Haha!! It’s way too Embarrassing haha