The once magic washing machine

Good morning all. It’s Wednesday and time for my guest blogger to take over. Enjoy!

 

The day started as any other would. The previous night’s moon had waned; I’d missed it. The sun had risen; I’d missed that too. The alarm went off; I’d got up. I’d begun pottering about as usual pondering which of the household tasks should be top of the priority list. It quickly became apparent that tripping over the overflowing washing basket gave me a big clue!

 

Ok, so switch brain into washing mode: pick up basket, descend stairs and load into the trusty Bosch WFL2260. (Btw my second German washing machine; the first one, an AEG, lasted 14 years with a few repairs along the way. The Bosch will have done 12 years in just over a month’s time without any repairs or parts failing. The Germans definitely make very good washing machines! Their extra cost is worth it in my opinion. And just in case you’re wondering, I am not an agent for either manufacturer nor have I been paid for praising their products!). A full load of stuff went in including the double duvet cover which was turned inside out. (Remember it’s a double we’re talking about all the way through this, although you can do the same for a single.) Now you may remember LLM’s Top Tips (8.11.12) well here’s my first one to add to that list: always put your duvet covers into the washing machine inside out. (You know why don’t you? If you don’t I’ll let you into the secret later on.) The dial was set (see diag 9 in the pic below); the start button was pressed, active light came on (see diag 12 in the pic); the familiar sound of water being drawn into the machine meant I could start task no.2 – the shopping & running around on a couple of errands.

I returned to the house about an hour and a half later and as expected the “End” light (see diag 9) was illuminated. I opened the door and was somewhat surprised to see just two items in the machine which had been nearly full when I left: the duvet cover and one sock! Strange I thought, what’s happened here. Now I have to say that occasionally a sock or handkerchief will disappear but not most of the stuff I put in. Oh well I thought, I’ll retrieve what’s left first and then investigate. Of course you know what had happened – all the washing, bar one sock, had found its way inside the double duvet cover and I had to huff & puff to get the lump of damp washing out. I then had to get all the stuff out of the cover before I could put it on the maiden and then hang the cover up to dry. Ok so that sounds fair enough but then as I went to hang the duvet cover over the maiden I noticed it was right side out and the stitching side was inside as it is when it’s in normal use (with a duvet in it). Now here’s a real mystery: how had the “inside out” duvet cover turned itself “right side out” AND gobbled up all the rest of the washing bar one sock? And all in that tiny space inside the machine!

Remember one of the Five Voices from the blog on 5.9.12 was Lesley Duncan; she wrote the song Old Friends which begins with these words: “Standing there in disbelief, although you look the same…” And there I was standing in disbelief and the washing machine looked the same. I was considering “unfriending “ the machine at this point. (Having previously “unfriended” the freezer, about 2 years ago, when it stopped working and actually died 3 months outside the guarantee period I’d had some experience of what to do. More recently, I was forced to unfriend the kettle 7 days ago as it also died though only a couple of years old (but it was very cheap). One cup of tea made in the morning – fine; by lunch time just nothing, completely dead. (Usual checks found nothing.) Now, back to the w/m; I checked the 3 diagrams at the end section at the bottom of the picture called “At The End Of The Programme” and what a good job diag 3 showed me that I had to open the door before I could get the stuff out! I began singing the LD song to myself as I struggled to empty the duvet cover of its contents, without tipping them on to the floor, so I could hang them up to dry. Once done of course I had to then turn the cover inside out again so, when dry, it would be ready to put the duvet into. In case anyone is wondering why, it’s to do with how you actually get the duvet inside and into the corners of the cover if there’s only you to do the job. (With two people it’s obviously much easier doing a double duvet & cover.) Now for those of you who know this method please skip to next para and Top Tip No.2. With the cover inside out you simply put your hands into the two corners on the opposite side to the entry slit and grab the duvet corners nearest to you; then hold the corners through the cover and lift and shake so that the cover falls down over the duvet. As it falls, the inside which was showing outside when you started will now go inside if you see what I mean. If the slit is not a full side the last bits can be done by just pushing the last corners inside and into their respective places and re-shaking from there.

Now here’s Top Tip No.2 – when you put your duvet cover in the washing machine make sure all the press studs are fastened so there will be fewer items that can “disappear” inside. Now come on hands up, how many of you already do this one?

Top Tip No.3 – a bit extreme but the safest solution: fit a zip to the slit instead of press studs. Let the machine try that for size!

Now I couldn’t resist a couple of closing comments on the Quick Reference Instructions sheet above. The numbers correspond with the diagrams in the picture.

No.1 – A bit obvious, but very necessary. Top Tip here: Don’t leave paper tissues in pockets, they make a real mess.

No.3 – Why does underwear get to wash at 30 degrees but everything else hotter.? Surely soiled undies might have “difficult things to remove”. Think of the kids who didn’t quite make the toilet in time!

No.4 – Very handy this one: Open the door. Doh! Of course you were going to try and load the machine through the glass weren’t you?

No.6 – Close door over the black arrow which makes a “Klack” sound.

Despite these “pops” at the instructions I will say again it’s been a fantastic machine, for 12 years, but now it has attained new heights – it has really become a “Magic Washing Machine”. I have to say, apart from various items finding their way inside covers and pillow cases, it’s never done this before. However, it won’t catch me next week when I put the cover in! I’ll let it have its 7 days of fame but it won’t be magic – ever again. (That’s why the title of this blog is “The ONCE Magic Washing Machine”.) I’ve learnt my lesson. Oh and, due to its long trouble-free service, I did let it stay “friended”.

The time we defrosted a freezer

I was 18. I was living in Africa. I wasn’t that good at being a grown up but I was good at convincing myself I was.

One time my friend Lucy and I had noticed that we couldn’t fit stuff in our freezer anymore because it was full of ice. We thought we should defrost it but just made a vague guess about how exactly you did this. We had a fridge freezer thing so left the door open for a while but in the stifling heat of the coast town where we lived, all our milk and butter was having a bad reaction. We sat and puzzled for a bit about how to go about defrosting in a shorter time.

Then Lucy had an idea. Lovely Lucy, one of those people in life who you want to be like, who’s so easy to love. Lovely Lucy. She picked up a hammer and approached the fridge freezer. I stood by, a little uncertain about what she was going to do with it…..

Then Lovely Lucy used the hammer to smash all the ice to bits and get it out off the freezer. Mid-smashing session, me hovering nervously around, there was a noise. A hissing sound. Ssssssssssssssssss….

On. And on. And on. Went the hissing noise. Until, eventually, it stopped.

We didn’t know what it was but I had the distinct impression that my being-an-adult attempt had failed miserably.

There was a funny gas smell and we giggled nervously as I ran off to email my Dad about what we should do. That’s right. I was in Africa, holding my own as a teacher in a classroom, running the local town newspaper, making my living as an editor/journalist, and at the first hint of something electronic that I couldn’t figure out, I was running off to email my Dad.

The return email essentially said, “GET THAT THING OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW!”

Obediently, we unplugged it and got it into the garden and consumed everything which had been in the fridge, to save it going off, not because we’re greedy. Honest.

And there it sat for a few days while we pondered what to do. In those few days, the maggots found it. That’s right. The maggots. We opener the door one day to see if it still smelled gassy, and there they were! Whoops! We quickly shut the door, pretended we hadn’t seen anything and called a friend to ask him if we could put the fridge freezer in his car to take it to the repair shop. He said he’d come the next day.

That evening, something happened. Something which only happened three times the entire year we lived there. Something that pretty much never happens in a desert so you wouldn’t even think about it happening (we were basically living on the edge of a desert). Something that when it did happen, was so much worse for only happening a few times a year.

It rained.

The most torrential rain we’d seen since arriving. The wind and rain whipped the fridge door about furiously. It banged and crashed all evening. The rainwater got into every nook and cranny on that fridge. Inside, in the back, into the plug. Everywhere.

The plus side of this rainstorm was that the gassy smell and maggots had disappeared. Yehhhhh!

The down side, however, was that the fridge was SMASHED TO PEICES. Noooooooo…..

Our friend, George, arrived the next day and looked at it in shock. We pretended all was fine and piled it into the car and off we went to the repair shop. He also looked at it in shock and we just smiled a bit and convinced him to try and fix it.

A week or so later, Lovely hammer-wielding Lucy was passing by the repair shop with another teacher from the school and mentioned that they’d had our fridge for a week and we hadn’t heard anything from them.

“O yeh,” said the other teacher, knowingly. “They’ve had my dishwasher for about four years now.”

We spent the rest of the year without a fridge or freezer.

“Have you turned the switch on?”

A few years ago, I was working in a coffee place (the same one where I did my detective work) and my manager had asked me to turn off the freezer to defrost it one evening. I spent most of the evening, with this massive freezer, trying to keep the melting ice from flooding on to the floor, whilst also trying to serve customers and do everything else. It was a bit of a headache but it needed doing so I  didn’t mind. I left the door on the freezer open when I closed up and left, to get some air in. It had been a while since it was last defrosted and it was noticeable. All was well, I pottered off home, feeling like a job had been well done.

Next day was delivery day. I was due in at 2pm, around the time the stuff was being delivered. I was just walking along happily, humming a little tune maybe, ready for my shift.

As I approached, I saw the delivery man…. And I saw a huge freezer on wheels being hauled towards the stock room.

“Guys! What’s going on? Why is this here?”

“When I came in this morning, the freezer wasn’t working. It’s broken. So I called Head Office and got them to send a new one.”

I was actually astounded. I didn’t know what to say. The same person who had asked me to turn the freezer off and defrost it, had opened the shop the next day and thought the freezer was broken because it wasn’t on. How short-term can someone’s memory really be?

“Ok, stop. Take this freezer back to your van,” I told the delivery man. To the staff on shift, I checked, “Did anyone try turning it on?”

They said they had and pointed to a switch on the actual freezer, the one that you use to increase or decrease the temperature.

“No, did anyone turn it on at the wall?”

They pointed to a socket, with two plugs in and said those were both on so they didn’t know what was wrong. I’ll tell you what’s wrong. There are three machines here, two freezers and a fridge. And there are two plug sockets there. So clearly, there must be a third one somewhere else and it’s a safe bet that that’s where your problem lies.

I looked a little to my right and, sure enough, there on the wall, in plain sight, was the third plug. Switched off. I switched it back on. The freezer started up and made engine whirring sounds. The mystery was solved. I didn’t say anything else to the other staff. I didn’t need to.

You make you own conclusions about that story.

Another good one was when we got a new member of staff and when she was being trained, she was told to throw away the bins every night after her shift. The shop was always very clean when she had worked, even the coffee grinder had been cleaned out. Quite impressive, as it was usually only done once a week.

After a few weeks, we noticed that she always left the binbags upstairs and hadn’t taken them out. Someone said to her about taking them out and hadn’t she been told to do it and, as the conversation went on, it suddenly became clear what had been happening.

She thought she had been told to ‘throw away the beans’ every night! So when she finished her shift, she threw away all the perfectly fine and useable COFFEE BEANS and left the BINS in the shop…!

Oops……