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There’s been quite a bit of underwear-related traffic coming to my blog recently so I figured it was time to do a post about it. I’d also like to know where to get me a roll of this wrapping paper that someone has come to my blog looking for……

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The once magic washing machine

Good morning all. It’s Wednesday and time for my guest blogger to take over. Enjoy!

 

The day started as any other would. The previous night’s moon had waned; I’d missed it. The sun had risen; I’d missed that too. The alarm went off; I’d got up. I’d begun pottering about as usual pondering which of the household tasks should be top of the priority list. It quickly became apparent that tripping over the overflowing washing basket gave me a big clue!

 

Ok, so switch brain into washing mode: pick up basket, descend stairs and load into the trusty Bosch WFL2260. (Btw my second German washing machine; the first one, an AEG, lasted 14 years with a few repairs along the way. The Bosch will have done 12 years in just over a month’s time without any repairs or parts failing. The Germans definitely make very good washing machines! Their extra cost is worth it in my opinion. And just in case you’re wondering, I am not an agent for either manufacturer nor have I been paid for praising their products!). A full load of stuff went in including the double duvet cover which was turned inside out. (Remember it’s a double we’re talking about all the way through this, although you can do the same for a single.) Now you may remember LLM’s Top Tips (8.11.12) well here’s my first one to add to that list: always put your duvet covers into the washing machine inside out. (You know why don’t you? If you don’t I’ll let you into the secret later on.) The dial was set (see diag 9 in the pic below); the start button was pressed, active light came on (see diag 12 in the pic); the familiar sound of water being drawn into the machine meant I could start task no.2 – the shopping & running around on a couple of errands.

I returned to the house about an hour and a half later and as expected the “End” light (see diag 9) was illuminated. I opened the door and was somewhat surprised to see just two items in the machine which had been nearly full when I left: the duvet cover and one sock! Strange I thought, what’s happened here. Now I have to say that occasionally a sock or handkerchief will disappear but not most of the stuff I put in. Oh well I thought, I’ll retrieve what’s left first and then investigate. Of course you know what had happened – all the washing, bar one sock, had found its way inside the double duvet cover and I had to huff & puff to get the lump of damp washing out. I then had to get all the stuff out of the cover before I could put it on the maiden and then hang the cover up to dry. Ok so that sounds fair enough but then as I went to hang the duvet cover over the maiden I noticed it was right side out and the stitching side was inside as it is when it’s in normal use (with a duvet in it). Now here’s a real mystery: how had the “inside out” duvet cover turned itself “right side out” AND gobbled up all the rest of the washing bar one sock? And all in that tiny space inside the machine!

Remember one of the Five Voices from the blog on 5.9.12 was Lesley Duncan; she wrote the song Old Friends which begins with these words: “Standing there in disbelief, although you look the same…” And there I was standing in disbelief and the washing machine looked the same. I was considering “unfriending “ the machine at this point. (Having previously “unfriended” the freezer, about 2 years ago, when it stopped working and actually died 3 months outside the guarantee period I’d had some experience of what to do. More recently, I was forced to unfriend the kettle 7 days ago as it also died though only a couple of years old (but it was very cheap). One cup of tea made in the morning – fine; by lunch time just nothing, completely dead. (Usual checks found nothing.) Now, back to the w/m; I checked the 3 diagrams at the end section at the bottom of the picture called “At The End Of The Programme” and what a good job diag 3 showed me that I had to open the door before I could get the stuff out! I began singing the LD song to myself as I struggled to empty the duvet cover of its contents, without tipping them on to the floor, so I could hang them up to dry. Once done of course I had to then turn the cover inside out again so, when dry, it would be ready to put the duvet into. In case anyone is wondering why, it’s to do with how you actually get the duvet inside and into the corners of the cover if there’s only you to do the job. (With two people it’s obviously much easier doing a double duvet & cover.) Now for those of you who know this method please skip to next para and Top Tip No.2. With the cover inside out you simply put your hands into the two corners on the opposite side to the entry slit and grab the duvet corners nearest to you; then hold the corners through the cover and lift and shake so that the cover falls down over the duvet. As it falls, the inside which was showing outside when you started will now go inside if you see what I mean. If the slit is not a full side the last bits can be done by just pushing the last corners inside and into their respective places and re-shaking from there.

Now here’s Top Tip No.2 – when you put your duvet cover in the washing machine make sure all the press studs are fastened so there will be fewer items that can “disappear” inside. Now come on hands up, how many of you already do this one?

Top Tip No.3 – a bit extreme but the safest solution: fit a zip to the slit instead of press studs. Let the machine try that for size!

Now I couldn’t resist a couple of closing comments on the Quick Reference Instructions sheet above. The numbers correspond with the diagrams in the picture.

No.1 – A bit obvious, but very necessary. Top Tip here: Don’t leave paper tissues in pockets, they make a real mess.

No.3 – Why does underwear get to wash at 30 degrees but everything else hotter.? Surely soiled undies might have “difficult things to remove”. Think of the kids who didn’t quite make the toilet in time!

No.4 – Very handy this one: Open the door. Doh! Of course you were going to try and load the machine through the glass weren’t you?

No.6 – Close door over the black arrow which makes a “Klack” sound.

Despite these “pops” at the instructions I will say again it’s been a fantastic machine, for 12 years, but now it has attained new heights – it has really become a “Magic Washing Machine”. I have to say, apart from various items finding their way inside covers and pillow cases, it’s never done this before. However, it won’t catch me next week when I put the cover in! I’ll let it have its 7 days of fame but it won’t be magic – ever again. (That’s why the title of this blog is “The ONCE Magic Washing Machine”.) I’ve learnt my lesson. Oh and, due to its long trouble-free service, I did let it stay “friended”.

This one’s for everyone who’s supported me….

… it’s not really. I’ve not struggled or seen off any adversity to write this blog. I just sit down and write it. But it is for the people who read it. Because that’s amazing. That people read things when I write them. People from all over the world. Just today, my stats page tells me that pageviews came from Korea, Turkey, Brazil, Poland, Greece, Qatar, UK, USA, Australia, New Zealand and the Netherlands. That’s just mind blowing. People pooh-pooh the whole technological age, say that social media is not the real world, etc. But I think it’s fantastic. How else would a silly story about a ‘fight’ I had in school be available to those people? I’m not saying people’s lives are greatly enriched by anything I write, nor will I inspire them to transform a new generation of potential world-savers. But lots of things make me giggle. Lots of things in life are very amusing. And if people like it when I point these things out, then that’s enough. My work here is done. I’m off to laugh at a small child pulling a cat’s tail.

Anyway, a few months ago, when I thought to myself, “What is all this blogging nonsense about?” and got involved, it was such a great decision. It’s honestly been so fantastic. As silly as this may sound, it makes me make sure that my life is more exciting. If I have a day free and can’t think of anything to write about, I go on a walk some place interesting, I find somewhere I’ve always passed by but not looked at properly, I photograph something pretty, I read something out of the ordinary. So that I’ll have something interesting to write about. Writing in itself makes me pretty happy and finding good stuff to write about can turn every day into a little adventure.

So thanks for reading, people. I always say I write for myself mainly and numbers aren’t my main priority but when people do actually read it, it feels so great. Well, I don’t need to tell you, you’re all bloggers, you know what I mean.

Ok, that’s my thank you speech over and done with. Now onto the award.

I’d like to thank david-and-emily.com for the Liebster Blog Award. Their blog, Husband & Wife est. 9/18/11,  is great. These guys do an awful lot, on not much sleep, and take exams inbetween it all. Their posts always fill me with feelings of laziness and the thought that I could be doing more.

For this award, I must answer the 11 questions posed to me and ask 11 of my own to 11 nominees. I’m supposed to nominate blogs which have fewer than 200 followers but I don’t know many a lot of them have so I’m just gonna stick in ones I like and hope for the best.

Here goes:

1) Favorite body part to work out and exercise of choice?

I love walking because I love getting to know London and am slowly turning into a total history geek. So I like how the pace of walking let’s you take in everything you’re seeing, better than on a bike when you just whizz by (although I love cycling). Recently I took up swimming quite seriously, and can’t enough of it. I like how my arms feel like they’ve taken a pounding because it makes me think that my bingo wings must be getting smaller…. surely?

2) Job you wish everyone had to do for an entire day in hopes they would gain some perspective?

Cleaning toilets in McDonalds… I’m not sure why. It just came to me. Although, I guess it just makes you appreciate how nice it is not to work in grime. I think actually, something to do with law is important. It makes you understand how and why the law and politics are as they are and why empty statements like, “They should bring back hanging,” don’t make legal or political sense. It really infuriates me, actually, listening to people of the sort who say that, discussing anything remotely important like politics. I physically cannot enter into discussions with them.

3) Favorite Holiday and traditions that go with it – please!  Elaborate!

Holiday? As in a day on which you celebrate e.g. Christmas? Not a holiday I went on to another country? I like Christmas a lot. I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia. I start on the 16th December. They make me feel very magical. That’s it really. The other stuff, like where to spend the day etc, is changeable. So long as I have Narnia, I’m happy.

4) What topic are you really passionate about writing?

I write mostly comedy, I guess, if my writing were to fit into any genre. Lots of things I feel passionate about; genocide, capital punishment, crime and rehabilitation, the importance of understanding between people who are different, (culture, language, ethnicity etc). I don’t necessarily write about these things, though, because I don’t feel it’s the right arena for it or whatever.

5) You wake up in the morning and get a mulligan.  What do you use it on?

My… erm… face? Erm. To pluck my… erm… nose hair?

6) Which teacher motivated you the most or least?

My drama teacher, Miss McGowan. She was just ace. She was teacher age yet she was still fab. Unusual. I just wanted to be in her lessons and be like her. The perfect person to want to be like as floundering 17 year old who just toddled about wanting to be and do everything! I met up with her a few months ago for dinner and it was lovely. She didn’t ruin the illusion of her fabulousness at all. I liked her even more.

7) What lesson learned caught you off guard when you learned it?

Sometimes things can be just as lovely as you wanted them to be. Life and relationships aren’t a constant struggle, like you’re led to believe by older people when you’re younger. Things happen. Of course things happen. I’m not immune to misfortune. You’ve never quite got enough money or you don’t quite agree on everything, or your landlord is rubbish. But whatever. Overall, if you can recognise the things that make you unhappy and banish them, life can be very nice. And is.

8) Finish this sentence: The world would be a better place if everyone:

Considered each other and their own actions a bit more.

9) Grammatical error that drives you batty?

Comma and. For example – I went to the shop, and got some chocolate.

10) Did you take a foreign language in high school/college?  If so what?  If not – did you regret it?

Took French, it’s still quite useful to this day. Not massively useful as I don’t remember much but it doesn’t feel like a foreign language when I hear it or am in France, which makes it easier to attempt.

11) What is something you think people misjudge you for?

Erm… Erm… That I… erm… Ok, this one is quite difficult. My non-ladylike-ness, I guess. I’m not super uncouth or anything. I just don’t do my hair or make-up or wear high heels or anything. I’m too lazy.

Right, enough of my nonsense. Now it’s my turn to quiz my nominees. Here are my nominees.

1) indigo euphoric – This blog is pretty new on the scene and is already providing me with plenty of food for thought. They are the type of posts that I discuss with my friends later in an ‘I totally say/do that too’ type of way

2) Someone Fat Happened – I knew. I just knew when I saw the name of this blog that I was going to like it. Because that’s what happens isn’t it? You’re just going about your business as usual, nothing much going on, then all of a sudden, there are extra rolls. Ridiculous! Who did this to me? This blog captures that feeling exactly. The Korean bathhouse post might be the best thing I’ve read recently.

3) Fitness and Frozen Grapes – I’ve nominated her before and I’m going to nominate her again. Because she’s fab.

4) drinkrunyoga – This blog is fabulous for many reasons, one of them being the amazing before/after pics on a recent wedding anniversary post.

5) St Andrew’s Lynx – The lastest offering, about being imperfect, has stayed in my memory. The photo is beautiful too.

6) Swonderful Smarvellous – Two reasons why this blog is great. 1. The most recent post was about Rome. I am going to Rome in a few days. Hence, I became very excited indeed when reading. 2. The post before that was quotes from Downton Abbey. Amazing.

7) The Unbearable Lightness of Being Me – Little snapshots of life in the Philippines. I went there a few years ago to visit a friend and had a really lovely time so I love remembering that while reading this blog.

8) The Good Greatsby – I just can’t get enough of this blog. My only problem with it is that he doesn’t write often enough. I check here first before I make any important life decisions. His words of wisdom always teach me something.

9) Pa-BLAM! – This blog is great and she’s a great blogger to have on side. I love seeing that she’s commented or liked one of my posts. Although she recently blogged about having a cold, and now I have one…. Suspicious.

10) Humorous Interludes – I love this blog. The horoscopes are very important to me. I am forever grateful to him for his advice about, for example, what to do when on a date with a paleontologist. Which is, like, always. Obviosuly.

11) Better Than IMDB – I always remember his recommendations e.g. if someone suggests a film, I’ll be like, ‘No, I’ve read quite bad reviews about that.’ Then people are like, ‘Where have you read that?’ And I’m not sure. Because I rarely read film reviews in magazines. Then I realise that I’m actually getting the majority of my info from this site!

And my 11 questions to them are as follows:

1) Imagine you are a vegetable. Which one, and why?

2) I have a cold. Can you recommend anything?

3) What is your favourite book? You can only choose one!

4) If you could have one thing you were amazing at, what would it be?

5) What would you chosen Olympic sport be?

6) If you could only eat food from one country for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

7) Do you love tea? If not, do you think it will get in the way of our friendship?

8) You left the house without any trousers/skirt on this morning! Oops! What is your plan of action?

9) How do you feel about cake?

10) You’ve won £1 million on the lottery! How much of it are you willing to donate to a fund for my general wellbeing? (This one is quite important.)

11) If I ask nicely, will you please wear your underwear on the outside of your clothes for the duration of your working day?

Evidence of a misspent youth

I still know all the words to the ‘rap’ in Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre.

 

My Barbies and Kens had specially made (by me) paper underwear.

 

I know all the words to 99% of Backstreet Boys songs and can still do the dances that my cousin and I made up to about four of the songs from the album, Backstreet’s Back.

 

There are hours of video tape of me doing a ‘chat show’ on the camcorder.

 

My friend and I spent two weeks waiting anxiously for a reply to a letter we had written to PJ and Duncan (AKA Ant and Dec) saying we were going to their concert soon and were really good dancers and did they need backing dancers because we were obviously the people for the job. We had even made up some routines ourselves.

 

I have a drawer FULL of hair straightening products in my old bedroom… My hair has always been, and will always be, wavy/curly.

 

I have another drawer FULL of different coloured pens. I was extremely religious about what colour I underlined the date with, and whether it was a double underline or a squiggly line or a cloudy bubble thing.

 

There are hundreds of pieces of novelty wrapping paper dotted around my old bedroom. I never wrapped anything with them. I just kept them.

 

I have an exercise book full of ‘song lyrics’ I wrote (!). They were full of unrequited love and grand statements about life….. I was 14.

 

The vast amount of make-up I owned and the hours I spent in front of the mirror, with a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine, learning how to apply it… It always looked ridiculous and now I can’t remember the last time I wore any.

 

I spent at least 50% of my entire teenage years watching/re-watching/discussing/quoting from Friends.

 

I am now a Tetris demon.

 

I must have tried 5000 times to get past the big baddie at the end of the Starlight Zone on Sonic The Hedgehog and could never do it.

 

I spent a significant portion of my time wishing I was George from the Famous Five and pretending to be tomboyish. I even joined the girl’s football team at school and played half a match. Once.

 

I used to write and re-write (in different colour pens, with different underlining, in swirly writing or bubble writing) a list of the names I liked for my future children…. What a ridiculous idea!

Feedback from Day 1 of getting excited

I just wrote this post and then it deleted itself. I’m trying not to be angry right now. I’m trying quite hard to find this event exciting in some way. Erm. It’s exciting because now I get to relive how great my first day of getting excited was…. Stay calm Laura….

Ok, let’s start again and hope I don’t miss anything out.

So yesterday was my first day of getting excited. I wore a yellow dress, a red jumper and a blue coat and I went on the Jubilee line in the underground. Actually, that’s incorrect. Maybe I should stern from the top.

I donned my yellow dress in the spirit of Her Maj and set off for work. Now I’m bot sure where I’ve got this idea that the Queen wears yellow dresses from. Does she wear them often? Or had I seem one picture ONCE where she was wearing yellow and I’ve got it in my mind that she ALWAYS wears them? Actually, we mustn’t count out what’s quite probably happened. I’ve got my yellow dress washed and ready to wear anyway and am trying to find a way it seem regal.

Anyway, I knew people would notice and compliment me so I got ready for the tidal wave. I prepared a suitable demure Queen-like response and waited. Would you believe it, not ONE person said ‘Wow, Laura, that yellow dress is magnificent. You know something? You really look like the Queen in that dress.’ No-one! SHOCKED! I was just shocked. So I started pointing it out to people and got a few ‘mmm’s. All that effort for an ‘mmm’?! I’m starting to think that maybe these people of the ‘mmm’ variety ought to embrace a getting-excited project of their own.

Also, I shed my red jumper and blue coat early on cause I was quite warm.

Then I was discussing my planned journey across London and a friend said the Victoria line would be much faster.

“But I need to go on the Jubilee line,” I protested. “For the Jubilee.”

“No, it’s ok, because it’s the Victoria line. Queen Victoria.”

“You’re a genius!” said I. “The Victoria line it is!”

It was a long while later before either of us remembered that OF COURSE the Queen is not called Victoria! You know when you just say something without thinking? Then later you suddenly realise what you’re going on about?!

Sorry Lizzie, for forgetting your name.

I decided to take the Victoria line anyway because she was a queen of England, so it kind of fits with the theme.

As I was really getting into the whole excitement thing by this point, I leapt onto the train enthusiastically. Kind of. I stepped on with a slight bounce, I guess. I chose a seat and sat down. In my yellow dress. On the Victoria line. Thrilling.

The carriage was about two thirds full. No-one was talking. I took out a book in an excited lively manner and read it. At Euston, two women got on different doors and headed toward the same seat. The lady to my left, with a rucksack and walking shoes, was quite speedy and she easily beat the lady to my right, who, in high heels and small dress, was ill-equipped for the challenge at hand. When she realised she had been beaten, she just passed by at the same speed and pretended she didn’t care. I wasn’t fooled though. I could see she was gutted.

I was on the train for about six stops and I exited it in much the same excitable way as I had entered it.

And that was my experience of being excited about the Jubilee by going on the Victoria line. It was pretty cool.

So my thoughts about my first day of the experiment are that it’s nice being excited about things. It adds a bit of variety. I’ll have to put some thought into what I can get excited about next. I’m open to suggestions.

PS Today I am going swimming. This probably doesn’t seem very epic but in my world it is. For a girl who hasn’t got into a swimming costume in years, it’s pretty big news. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s like being told that the next time you go out, you’re only allowed to wear your underwear. I’m not used to being so undressed in public! Will spend the next hour or so psyching myself up. Wish me luck!

P is for…

PACKING!

What runs through my mind when I’m packing for a holiday….

I don’t need that much. I’m only going for five days. Let me just rummage around and see what I’ve got that’s holiday ish.

Oo, I’ll take this, a summery dress. I’ve got a nice eveningy dress too, in case of going out for dinner. Let me grab that. That other evening dress is nice too. I’ll take both. You can’t wear the same dress to dinner, can you? I’ll take both.

Try not to pack EVERYTHING

And this nice long flowy skirt would be nice for on the beach. And this sarong, for pottering over to the pool in. And that sarong. It’s best to have two. Need a swimsuit. I’ll have to buy one.

T-shirts. Take seven, just in case. And another skirt. And those long shorts. And those other shorts. And those pyjamas. And another pair. You need two pairs. And a few pairs of shoes. And flipflops. And socks just in case. And a jacket, in case it gets a bit cold. And a lighter jumper for if there’s just a breeze. And a light waterproof, in case there’s a little downpour. And toiletries. I’ll take face cream, and face suncream. And moisturiser. And suncream. And aftersun. Just in case.

And I wonder if I’ll understand the language enough to get nice herbal tea? I’ll just take some from here. Peppermint. And vanilla rooibos. And lemon and ginger. Maybe my yoghurt maker? I love my new yoghurt maker. It’s nice to have yoghurt when it’s hot. And my lemon squeezer! Freshly made lemonade. Mmmm.

What else? Books to read. I should study really. Ok, take my tutorial notes with me. And a book for fun. Which book. Hmmmm. I’ll take a few. Three. That’s a good number. Suitcase is bursting. Erm…

Ok, what to do? What to sacrifice?… But I NEED it all!… Ok, grab backpack. Start again. One pair of light shoes. Three tshirts. One evening dress. One day dress. One pair of shorts. One skirt. Change of underwear. One book. Study notes. Toiletries.

That’s better. Phew. I’m ready.

Why on earth had I packed my yoghurt maker? What was I thinking?! And herbal tea? On a holiday to a hot country?